About
I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...
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No Stronger Love
I was trying to catch a late night weather update on News14 when I saw him… I instantly recognized the demeanor: the unmistakable grief etched into his face, the disbelief evident in every spoken syllable… “You’ve made a mistake; you’ve got the wrong boy…” It took me straight back to my own moment, the seconds after our world imploded and our nightmare began. I saw my husband’s image reflected in this father’s ...
More...Feb. 21, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
No need to question
I spent so much time out of town last year caring for Grandma that I wondered if I had been unavailable for too long. I worried if opportunities to reach out to teens in our community would come about after my being mostly absent in 2011. I shouldn’t have wasted precious energy on such a needless concern; He has continued to open plenty of doors for me to walk through… More importantly, the desire to do something, to somehow make a difference, st...
More...Feb. 17, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
My Valentines
Oh, how it hurt to remember… I felt like a million tiny arrows hit their mark, precisely centered on my heart… I never dreamed the special memories I hoped to create would be so painful to recall later in my life… A simple card beside a heart shaped box of chocolates (identical except for the cover graphic) and boxers for Brian, t-shirts for the girls… These tiny tokens of affection waited to greet them first thing on Valentine&rsquo...
More...Feb. 14, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Flying Solo
You never really know what you are capable of until you take a leap of faith and try to do it on your own… More than two years ago, Skip & Jerry Mudge took me under their wings, guiding, advising and inviting me to share ‘Brian’s Story’ as part of their “Choices” program. After many years of volunteering time and expertise to benefit thousands of teens in our community, they decided to semi-retire at the end of last year. ...
More...Feb. 10, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Illing...
Nothing makes me appreciate feeling well more than having been sick… Whether it’s a headache, a cold, allergies or whatever, when the symptoms finally begin to abate, the awareness of not feeling as bad helps to make me feel better too… Last month, I succumbed to some sort of wicked stomach ailment; I’m not certain if it was a case of food poisoning or some relative of the nasty gastro bug currently making rounds through our community. I’...
More...Feb. 07, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
One Down...
My toughest audience isn’t the newly licensed or soon-to-be driving teenager; the hardest group to reach is actually their father’s demographic, the middle-aged man... The dads aren’t my primary focus, but I often wonder if they should be, because their prevailing attitude is experience trumps distraction… It’s hard not to question the point of my efforts when members of my own family selectively forget how we arrived in this place. I mean...
More...Feb. 03, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Not Ready
I’ve definitely had one of those days. I couldn’t decide what to do, where to go, or how to prioritize from one minute to the next. I hate being like this, itchy in my own skin, flighty and breathless... If only I could melt into a puddle of nothingness. Then I wouldn’t have to feel, I wouldn’t have to think, I wouldn’t have to try and pretend. Because sometimes, I get tired of faking that it’s all okay… It’s n...
More...Jan. 31, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
A Quick Confirmation
I could tell John was trying not to laugh in my face; he kind of smirked, turned around and walked into the garage. I don’t blame him; I suppose what I told him was kind of comical... Not the subject matter, but the circumstances surrounding it. It’s okay; he simply doesn’t believe like I do. I can’t help it; I’m a signs girl. A couple of weekends ago I was cleaning, getting the house back to a show-ready state; I’d slack...
More...Jan. 27, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Invited to Occupy
We’ve become quite adept at camouflaging ourselves, hiding within the shades of gray that define our life; it’s hard to know for certain where we stand relative to one another in this dark valley, as we each walk alone… At no other time is the weight of B’s loss felt as intensely as when our ‘new normal’ changes. It makes no difference whether temporary or permanent; any shift throws off the delicate balance we barely achieve on most d...
More...Jan. 24, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Smart phones = Dumber people
There appears to be an inverse relationship between cell phones and our intelligence; the phones are getting smarter and we, as evidenced by our actions, are getting dumber… I am amazed and infuriated by the behavior going on around me; amazed by the arrogance/ignorance and infuriated by the obliviousness/recklessness… It doesn’t matter if I’m waiting for a traffic light to change, driving down the interstate at seventy miles per hour, ...
More...Jan. 19, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine
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