About
I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...
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Hope Lives
“Then Simeon blessed them and said to his mother, Mary, ‘…and a sword will pierce your own soul too.’ ”-Luke 2:34-35 During the weeks leading up to Easter this year, my thoughts returned time and again to Simeon’s declaration; I wonder how Mary reacted to receiving his blessing followed by the reminder of her heartbreak to come… I don’t believe such a statement would be well received or readily accepted by any mother today...
More...Apr. 10, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Memories
“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living” – Cicero When the life lost is that of your child, however, those memories will never be enough… Our season of discontent has officially arrived, coinciding with the wave of warmth and pollen drifts… I don’t know why I expected it would be different this time, except last year it seemed so, though that must have been due to my distraction rather than any oth...
More...Apr. 06, 2012 | Permalink -
Two showings too far...
I can’t help it…I feel more than a little violated… I really lost my cool this weekend. In fact, I’m still kind of ticked. Two screwy showings two days in a row pushed me past the point of reasonableness and I unloaded on our realtor Saturday afternoon. While it definitely wasn’t his fault (he wasn’t involved in either showing), he was the only person available that could deliver my feedback to the brokers and their clients. ...
More...Apr. 02, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Reach for the sky
When I first discovered this downed tree last summer, I had no doubt it was destined for the woodpile… It looked as though the root system had been shallow to begin with and almost all of it was ripped from the earth when the tree toppled over... Or so I thought. The tuliptree (tulip-poplar) wasn’t quite finished yet. As it turned out, it was much more resilient than I gave it credit for. Even though the main trunk no longer stretch...
More...Mar. 30, 2012 | Permalink -
What's in a name?
Last fall when our niece and her husband found out the gender of their unborn child, they immediately shared the news with the entire family… Baby J’s full name, however, was to remain a secret until his birthday… Tonight I’m leaning back in a recliner/rocker, marveling at the tiny bundle sleeping soundly in my arms… He’s only four days old; I’d forgotten how incredibly small newborns actually are… I’m ...
More...Mar. 26, 2012 | Permalink -
Rest & Recover
After enduring so much over the last three-plus years, some days I’m amazed to find myself standing upright… That said, at times I wonder what unknown ailment may be lurking inside, waiting to ambush me down the road… Grief, like stress, will have its day, one way or another; it will make itself known… As I said last month, nothing makes me appreciate feeling well more than having been sick. Up until my food poisoning episode in Janu...
More...Mar. 16, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Back to an empty room...
The door stands open again, the room empty of light and life, save for the candle I’ve returned to his window… Grace’s friend moved out a week ago; she stayed a bit longer than originally planned, finally finding a place within her budget and comfort zone. It was an interesting experience, as it was the first time we actually had someone living with us that was not a family member (excluding Brian and Grace’s friend who was briefly with us ...
More...Mar. 13, 2012 | Permalink -
Silence
The silence was deafening… I startled awake, abruptly pulled into consciousness by the utter lack of ‘white noise’ to which I’m accustomed. I lay still, listening to the undiluted sound of a storm raging outside, wondering about the lack of thunder in relation to the bursts of white light flickering through the blinds… Clearly the forewarned turbulent weather had arrived, as evidenced by my unexpected 2 am wakeup… T...
More...Mar. 09, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Losing You Dejavu
No matter how much time passes, the feeling never leaves… I smile and say I’m okay… I am…most of the time. We’re getting by, which for us, is pretty good. To be honest, I never thought we could make it this far, and yet here we are... Sometimes I’m not convinced it’s true… Sometimes I can hardly stand how much we miss you… Even though I’ve tried to face and embrace the pain brought on b...
More...Mar. 05, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
To Tweet or Not? I think Not...
The blink of an eye… That’s all it takes for an accident to happen… Or for a random act by an athlete to potentially undermine years of work… According to a statement issued by NASCAR on February 28, 2012: “ NASCAR will not penalize Brad Keselowski for his use of Twitter during Monday night's Daytona 500. Nothing we've seen from Keselowski violates any current rules pertaining to the use of social ...
More...Mar. 01, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine
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