About

I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

  • He Stayed...

    Laney High School

      I encouraged him to sit near the doors in case he changed his mind and wanted to exit quickly; I told him it was okay to leave the gym up until the minute I left his side and stepped forward to begin the presentation… Despite having an open pass to go, he stayed… “After nearly four years, I figured it was time I saw what you do for myself.” John was antsy from the minute we left the hotel… The drive too...

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    Apr. 22, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • On the road...

    remember b

    Around this time four years ago, I gave in to the tugging on my heart… I took a leap of faith and ordered a batch of 2,500 “Remember Brian 06-12-08” silicone bracelets, with no plan beyond that single act. John thought it was a foolish idea, although he gave me the okay; in the back of his mind, he was convinced we’d be giving those bracelets away for a very long time… As it turned out, he was both right and wrong. We’re ...

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    Apr. 16, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • Lonely Hearts...

    John, me & Grandma B 12/2008

    I walked past her table on the way to wash my hands…she was sitting alone, enjoying a personal-sized pizza and a small yellow bag of Lay’s Classic potato chips. The combination made me smile, because it was something I would do, and definitely something my Grandma would have done… When I returned from the restroom and found our table, she and John were chatting amicably over the top of the dividing wall… She glanced at me...

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    Apr. 12, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • Realizations...

    Fixer Upper #1-finished

    You wake up, put your feet on the floor and face each morning whether you want to or not… You do what you must, staying busy to get through the blur of days and nights rushing by. You keep on breathing and working hard and hoping things will get better because to think otherwise would give despair an invitation inside… In some respects things do seem better, thanks to the ongoing efforts of your subconscious mind working overtime to build tunnels and walls aro...

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    Apr. 06, 2013 | Permalink

  • Looking back...

    TG & the three

    This time five years ago, John and I were locked in a serious disagreement over whether or not Brian should be allowed to go to the beach over spring break with his friends…without us being there too. I had quite a few reservations about it, as I knew exactly what he would be up to along with hundreds (if not thousands) of other ‘loosely’ chaperoned teens. In the end, against my wishes, John consented and off B went. He had the time of his life and thankf...

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    Apr. 02, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • A Lesson Learned...

    Playing Friendly

    Beth was babysitting recently and while watching the children as they played outside, things took an abrupt turn… The hurtful words flew out of the young woman’s mouth and hung ominously in the air… She obviously spoke out of annoyance and anger without really considering what she was saying or who all was there to hear what she said; had she given a passing thought to anything more than impressing her friends, she probably would have kept her...

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    Mar. 24, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • At a crossroad...

    Bracelets for Brian

      After we lost Brian, I truly believed that in time, some sort of purpose or mission for my life would be revealed. And it was. Since then, I’ve spent nearly four years defining and refining my efforts to raise awareness with teenagers and their families about the dangers of cellular distraction while driving. The simple fact of the matter is this: no one should lose their life over the press of a button. To date, I have focused most of my energy...

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    Mar. 18, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • Adapting...

    Back to School

      When I was younger and thought I knew it all, I held very strong opinions and ideas about most everything… It was difficult to persuade me to change my mind once it was set, as I believed I had life basically figured out. Nowadays I’m older and hopefully a smidge wiser; I’ve learned that as circumstances change, so must I… Once my job was eliminated last fall, I struggled with what to do; although my actual working with John rema...

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    Mar. 13, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • 'Fraidy Cat

    Grae & her cat

    Do you stand and fight or turn and take flight when given an awful fright? Beth had been cat-sitting for our friend Sue for several days when Gracie took over... On Monday evening after work, she went over to feed and settle Willie for the night. While rinsing out the kitty food bowls, Grace heard someone or something moving around upstairs…after a beat, she realized it wasn’t Sue’s cat making the noise… Flight, definite...

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    Mar. 07, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine

  • Unexpected reactions...

    Sisters

    If you were to walk into our home right now, you wouldn’t know that one of our family is missing, save for the single light shining in his window. We’ve settled into a new normal, more or less, navigating most days and nights without the drama of early on, at least until something beyond our recent baseline pops up… None of us can reliably predict how we will react to any sudden surprise situation. Beth came in around 11:00 Monday night, feeling gener...

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    Mar. 04, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine
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