About
I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...
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All Clear
The three long days between receiving the call back and actually hearing the doctor say “you’re okay” were as anxious and stressful as any I’ve ever known. The thoughts bouncing through my mind were all over the place… I desperately tried not to assume the worst, and yet I couldn’t help but wonder what if… I told myself to stay positive, that negative thinking could ‘jinx’ me somehow, resulting i...
More...Feb. 05, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Or Maybe Not...
I haven’t the lack of fear inherent in my father… Since Brian’s accident, I frequently find myself ill at ease, fighting to keep anxiety from grabbing control of my thoughts and actions… Sometimes my fearfulness is warranted; other times, it is entirely self-inflicted, despite knowing full well it is a waste of precious energy. On Monday I added a new phrase to the list of utterances I hope to never hear again…...
More...Jan. 30, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Brave Heart...
When I was a child, he was larger than life…he demanded respect and commanded any room upon entry. I was more than a little afraid of him, with good reason. Inciting his temper was an invitation to disaster; we learned at a young age to avoid doing so at all costs, for the penalty was swift and severe… It was a bit disturbing to see this man, one who always instilled fear and never felt it, looking rattled. At no time can I rec...
More...Jan. 28, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Where everybody knows...
There are countless ways in which your child can break your heart… Even the most innocent statement has the ability to pierce your soul and leave you breathless… The challenge lies in maintaining your composure, in never letting them see how it hurts… In those moments I remind myself that John and I have done our best, given the unwanted change in our circumstances; even so, I think about how the girls’ have been shortchange...
More...Jan. 21, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Speaking Up
There are as many ways into this unwanted life as there are stars scattered across the clear night sky… Whether seemingly by chance or an inescapable circumstance, everything suddenly changed and we were forced into a world where our normal order of things will never be so again… Don’t be fooled… Despite appearances to the contrary, we are not the people we once were… But we’ve become adept at seeming so. We...
More...Jan. 16, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
To My Friend...
Another friend tragically lost one of her children last month. Years ago we were involved in a weekly tennis lesson together with two other ladies, one of whom also lost a child the year after Brian passed away… I cannot possibly fathom the odds of such a thing…three out of four, living out every parent’s worst nightmare… Although I’ve seen her since it happened, I have yet to directly acknowledge her loss, as ...
More...Jan. 11, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Facing the Clock...
The face staring at me from the mirror reflects the road map of my life… The furrowed brow, even while at rest; the network of lines edging the ever-present smudges below my eyes; fine gray-white wisps framing my face and peppering the balance of my formerly brown hair… I have undoubtedly arrived at that certain age… I’ve never been more cognizant of time rushing by as I am at this particular moment, on the eve of my next occa...
More...Jan. 07, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Re-thinking 2013
Another calendar year has come to an end, the pages fanning forward faster than I can ever recall… Although I know the actual passage of time remains constant, it feels as if it’s accelerating with every passing minute… Although we don’t define the years of our lives this way now, I can’t help but stop on New Year’s Eve (like the rest of the world) to consider the last three hundred and sixty five days… ...
More...Jan. 04, 2013 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine -
Christmas Connection
After enduring our fifth Christmas without Brian, I finally made the connection… I realized that part of my underlying holiday dread has been present for nearly half my life... We’ve all experienced it at one time or another, that uncomfortable combination of failure and guilt that comes on the heels of not meeting the expectations of others, specifically after disappointing parents and grandparents… Upon ar...
More...Dec. 28, 2012 | Permalink | T Garlock -
Slow it Down...
I’d been hanging around the house all morning, waiting on a delivery via FedEx freight from California… Up the stairs, peek out the window, open the front door to double check…nothing yet…back to my computer and never-ending list. Instead of making efficient use of my time at home, I found myself wandering from room to room in my pjs, debating what and where to begin versus exactly when the package would arrive, thereby actual...
More...Dec. 24, 2012 | Permalink | Carolina Sonshine
Meet the Moms Admin
Mandy Ravin is a mom of three who manages the MomsCharlotte site in between carpool drops-offs, soccer games, gymnastics meets, homework, laundry and trying to stay sane in the nutty world that is being a mom. Mandy can be reached at: mravin@charlotteobserver.com and welcomes your ideas, events, feedback, resources, and anything else that helps you be a happier mom.
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