MomsCharlotte.com

About

I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

  • Forgotten, temporarily

      As the hours rolled by without a word, a tiny kernel hardened in my heart.   “How could he?” I thought…   My glimmer of hope flickered until at long last, it sputtered out.       He couldn’t say he wasn’t told in advance. I reminded him, repeatedly, throughout the month leading up to it...         John is prone to tunnel vision when he tackles new projects; he becomes obsessive an...

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  • Living Fearless?

        There are a few things that strike fear into the heart of every woman, but even more so in mine…   The first is something terrible happening to a member of my family, followed closely by having a serious health issue of my own.       I wage a daily war against worry of all kinds; collectively, they erode my tenuous state of balance. Despite prayer and methodical analysis of the issues, I frequently feel like my anxiety is growing stro...

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  • Runaway

      Puffs of wind pull fiery leaves from their branches; the tang of wood smoke laces the chilly air...   Once again, the heightened sorrow of this season has descended, arriving alongside the early darkness of our shorter days…       It always comes down to the same thing every year, every time.   John believes we should have stayed where we were; he’s confident Brian and Grace could have dealt with the changes wrought by yet another...

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  • 17 Years...

        Oh, Brian.       Some days I can hardly stand the pain… To think of where our lives were going as compared to where they are…five years later, it’s still impossible to reconcile. I suppose that’s my real mistake, comparing now and then.         I thought our plans were golden…   Of course, nothing was set in stone, but I had a general sense of the direction we were heading in&h...

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  • Gone Visiting...

      I did something a few days ago which I haven’t done since I don’t know when…   I spent three hours visiting friends without the slightest concern for the time; I felt no pressure to hurry up and get going so I could complete the next item on my endless to-do list.   I had nowhere else I needed to go, and more importantly, I was exactly where I wanted to be.       What occasion quelled my sense of urgency?   One of thos...

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  • Commitment Made

        “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown in the scrap heap.” –George Bernard Shaw       While I cannot agree that for me it’s joyful, there is definite comfort knowing I’ve done all I can in a particular endeavor.       Every night for the last three weeks, John and I had similar conv...

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  • Holiday madness

    December 2009 Decorations adorn every store…street corner…more than a few passing cars…   It’s the unifying theme on television…radio…newsprint…   The holiday season is undeniably underway…our second minus one… All I want to do is hide.   The onslaught is relentless and inescapable, assaulting every sense I possess.  

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  • Hello, it's B

    December, 2009 Even though I cannot see the wind, I know that it is there…   I’ve said so from the very beginning…   Sometimes, I feel him, like he’s hiding nearby, just beyond my line of sight…   Today, I am sure of it… Another day, another school, another chance to make a difference, closer to home this time…  

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  • Fools and Forgiveness

    November 2009 If being angry brands you a fool, then so be it…   Call me whatever.   But if it’s action in the heat of the moment that makes it so, then I’m not.   Yet.   Physical distance prevented a hasty response on my part; perhaps given enough time, the urge for action will pass.  

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  • In Everything...

    Thanksgiving, November 2006 …give thanks.   1 Thessalonians 5:18 Wow.   Tough one.   Easier said than done.   I’ve been working on it for quite a while now.   2 years and 25 weeks to be exact.

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