Life After Losing Brian | MomsCharlotte.com

About

I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

  • Precious Time

    Going home at last!

      The tangle of plastic tubing seems to run off in every direction…   Every now and then an audible hum asserts itself, eclipsing the sound of bubbling water, which has become the primary background noise…   Every single time I believe I fully comprehend time’s unyielding march, I find myself face to face with circumstances that force me to acknowledge I’m no wiser than I was before…   Since we arrived on this mountain in De...

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  • What I love

    Full moon rising on B's birthday 2014

      Joy can be found in the smallest of things, if only we take the time to notice them…   What would happen if we spent as much time and energy being satisfied as we do complaining?   A friend wrote a post on his birthday in October (a day he happens to share with my baby Grace) about what he loves.   He inspired me to follow his lead and I’ve accepted his challenge…   Although I’m lagging a week beyond my actual date of...

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  • Days of Grace, Again

    An 'Us-sie'

      How often do my carefully laid plans collapse and fall apart?     Far more regularly than I care to acknowledge…   As I began the twelve day stretch into Christmas, I had every intention of pausing each day to consider the blessings in my life and to write about them.   I was on the ball with it for the first few days, until circumstances forced me to scrap those plans…     The contemplation of my blessi...

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  • Adaptation-Day 3-12 Days of Grace

    2014 Tree

      For the first time that I can remember, there isn't a traditional Christmas tree in my home…   I’m alright with that, for a number of reasons…   1)   All of our decorations, including the tree, adornments and other accessories, are buried in the deepest corner of our long-term mini-storage unit, which happens to be located roughly two hours away;   2)   Although we have purged, consolidated and strategically pla...

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  • Taking Time-Day 2-12 Days of Grace

    The 3 J's

      I recently discovered that my year of upheaval and change is far from over…in fact, it is carrying well over into the new year…   I find myself facing another relocation, albeit temporary, which will put me smack dab in the North Carolina high country during the winter.   I am not a good cold weather girl.   Snow, icy conditions and extremely low temperatures seriously sour my disposition.   Needless to say, I haven’t welcom...

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  • Day 1-12 Days of Grace

    Last Christmas Together

        Bright, twinkling lights dangle from the eaves…   Evergreen wreathes adorn front doors…   Bedecked trees sparkle just beyond the window glass…   The promise of celebration drifts about like the wood smoke scenting our chilly air…     Except we don’t exactly feel like celebrating.   The holidays are an extremely difficult time of year…   Despite efforts to paste on brave smiles and ...

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  • What matters most

    Ugly cake

      “Tradition gives us a sense of solidarity and roots, knowing there are some things one can count on.”-Gloria Gaither   I am no different from anyone else; I crave the comfort and certainty found in continuity…   Since 1999, I’ve baked an almond pound cake as part of our Thanksgiving meal, so it was important to me to have one for my family again this year.   I put four sticks of butter out on the counter to soften; that afte...

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  • The Right Move?

    4 months later

      Time continues to slip quietly by, unremarkable save for the calendar pages flipping forward at an ever increasing pace...I see its passage etched in the fine lines tattooing my face, the ever resilient gray highlighting my hair, and the unbidden slowdown in my pace...   I can hardly believe it’s been more than four months since we sold our Quail Ridge home. The change has continued to be cathartic for John. Shedding that house has allowed him to lose a modicum of the g...

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  • Happy Birthday B...

    BCG

      The candle of hope formerly illuminating B’s window now resides firmly within my heart…   Our lives continue to change, evolving in ways we didn’t anticipate when we left the house on Quail Ridge behind…   In reality, the difference isn’t necessarily new, but rather our awareness of it suddenly is…   I woke this morning and it dawned on me…on what would have been Brian’s 24th birthday (today), I no ...

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  • Will you commit?

    Lunchtime commitments for Celebrate My Drive

        While I was walking Gracie’s dog this afternoon, a car pulled through the parking lot just below our grassy pacing point…   I watched as the driver cruised to the end of the lot, approximately 225 feet in length; the entire time, he had one hand on the steering wheel and both eyes on his phone…       I marched back and forth, trailing Jasper as he searched for whatever it is that dogs seek, observing this young man, w...

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