Save Money in this Sunday's paper

Q: My husband has become very involved in online message boards, to the point that it’s all he talks about. There is a woman on several of these boards with him. She lives across the country, but I know they Skype a lot. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, but I don’t want to have this intrusion into my marriage.

Q: My boyfriend’s mother gives us a refrigerator’s worth of food every time we visit. She’s a good cook, but it bothers me that she thinks that we can’t fend for ourselves. My boyfriend says we’d be nuts to turn it down – we both work long hours and it is a help. But I feel like it’s part of a larger pattern of her seeing us as just kids.

Figure out what you want, then be strong enough to do it.

Objective vs. emotional puts this couple at odds.

Q: I am a young adult with a passion, but I can’t make a living out of it. (I tried to find a job related to it for five years.) But what am I if I can’t do what I love? I can’t see myself retiring after 50 years and picking up doing what I haven’t done for all that time. What can I do? I feel like a ball adrift in the ocean.

Q: My good friend is asking people to “sponsor” her international travel for the next few months. Is she doing charity work? No. Is she part of some organization? No. She is doing it to “grow and explore” and even has a website set up for donations about it. I have chosen not to donate, but she keeps bringing it up. Do I say anything to her?

A bunch of friends just got engaged and now my boyfriend is thinking about marriage. I like being with him, but I’m nowhere near ready.

Q: I’m tired of my situation – broke and with a man who only searches out easy jobs, never anything challenging or that would bring in more money. We’re having a baby, and I feel alone. All he does is smoke weed and “hang out.”

Q: My boyfriend of seven months is far too jealous. No matter what I do or say, he finds a way to become suspicious. He denies that an unresolved problem from his past is making him behave this way, but I’ve never given him a reason to question my loyalty. He’s a great guy, and his pros outweigh his cons, but how much of this is normal? I think I’m very patient with him, but I’m reaching my limit.

Q: My mother has a fear of bugs so intense that I swear she has serious mental problems. She is completely out of control – and has been for as long as I can remember. How can I get her to see that it is not normal to yell and scream just because there is a beetle or spider near her?

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Andrea Bonior
Andrea Bonior (that's BONN-yer!) is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and writer. She completed her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology focusing on individual and group psychotherapy for young adults and specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression.
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