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Q: My sister wants to live with me this summer. She’s finishing her freshman year of college and thinks that living in my apartment would be more exciting than staying with our parents. But she’s said nothing about how she would pay rent, get a job, etc. She has always mooched off me because we are 13 years apart. I want to say no, but I don’t think she'll be doing much better for herself at our parents’ house.

Q: My boyfriend and I got into an argument two weeks ago. I reached out to him a few days later and he promised to meet with me the following day after work. I haven’t heard back from him since. I’m really upset and trying to understand why he would stop communicating with me. Should I send him an email expressing how I feel or should I give him some more time?

Engaged, but having doubts about getting married.

Q: I compare myself constantly to other people, especially women. In meetings I wonder who makes the most money, who is the skinniest and prettiest. I dislike someone if they seem to be more accomplished or attractive than me. This seems to be getting the better of me.

Q: My boyfriend has been married twice – once right after college (that lasted a year), and again in his late 20s/early 30s (that lasted six years). We are both 34. My friends and family seem to think it’s a bad sign that he has two marriages under his belt. I know it’s not what you dream of in a relationship, but I find us a great fit in other ways. How can I tell them to butt out?

Q: My husband and I had said that we would start trying to conceive around now, but I’m feeling like it isn’t the right time for children.

Q: I just found out that my husband has been lying about financial issues for the entirety of our two-year marriage. He made large purchases on a credit card that I thought had been closed, and he has not contributed nearly as much into a retirement account as he had been claiming. I know this is not infidelity, but it is making me reconsider our marriage.

Q: One of my good friends doesn’t have good judgment, and her life is always a disaster. Recently, she has been trying to make a terrible condo purchase. We all advised her against it, and things have already gone wrong, but she ignores reality. We are left to make her feel better when everything falls apart. It’s frustrating, and my sympathy is running out.

Q: My husband and I work in the same large office and have commuted together for years. I’m tired of it and I think I need more space, but I know he would say it doesn’t make any sense for us to drive separately. Any way to broach this without ending my marriage?

Q: I graduated college a year and a half ago and have been bouncing around between low-level receptionist-type jobs since then. My parents, who are big on me staying at one job, say this looks bad. I feel like if there’s ever a time to switch around and not settle for a bad fit, it’s now.

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Andrea Bonior
Andrea Bonior (that's BONN-yer!) is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and writer. She completed her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology focusing on individual and group psychotherapy for young adults and specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression.