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Mark Washburn: I’ve been listening hard, and can tell you with authority that I never hear these 20 phrases uttered in Charlotte.

On Friday, the World’s Worst Idea gained a powerful ally.

Dad-dee, tell me a story. ... OK. Once upon a Friday night, a new pro basketball player named P.J. Hairston went to the Fresh Market to buy fruit.

When you are in the business of committing the most boneheaded mistake imaginable, one that will confound generations yet unborn, the worst thing that can happen is for the public to wake up and start thinking about what you’re up to.

Q. I heard the legislature is working on ways to improve the lottery. Should I be worried?

Amazing discovery reveals truth about Charlotte’s famous conjoined twins. Shocked to find a connection, niece from England is drawn to Charlotte grave.

I am happy to report to you, dear constituents, what a good job we’re doing for you here at the N.C. Legislature.

You’re the smartest, strongest, savviest generation ever minted. Now for some words of advice.

Right off the top, you can start calling us by our real name, which most of you seem to think is “Ewwww!”

Every good story needs a villain, and in the long saga of bringing baseball to uptown, Jerry Reese played the part.

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Mark Washburn
Mark Washburn writes television and radio commentary for The Charlotte Observer.
CharlotteObserver.com