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Coming from Los Angeles, you probably think running Charlotte's transit system will be a breeze.
But there are some things you should know, Carolyn Flowers, before taking over CATS in January.
Allow me to sketch the broad view of our transportation matrix.
Here in Charlotte we move by car, bus, bike, blades, train, shoe and elevator, not all of which will be under your jurisdiction.
Unlike your colleagues in Southern California, we have not yet mastered the art of moving by moonbeam, but we could probably come up with a couple million dollars to study the concept.
No, please don't laugh. We've already earmarked $4million to study the path of a nifty cross-town trolley that will never get built.
It won't get built because:
It would run in the street just like an un-nifty bus, meaning you'd still get stuck at red lights and behind texting teenagers.
Even if the coaches were made of bamboo, it would still cost about $40million a mile.
No, don't laugh at that, either. It's still under consideration.
We've become enamored of late by rapid rail. Our spiffy Lynx line is jetting along nicely, and we're in the mood for another.
Our wish list is for an extension to University City or a commuter line to the formerly burgeoning communities along Lake Norman.
Problem is, there's money involved. Our University line would run about a billion dollars, give or take.
Lake Norman's choo-choo needs about $300million, even though the tracks are already there.
No, stop laughing. I'm still serious. Those ribbons of steel have been there more than a century, and we just can't seem to figure out which line is the better bargain.
Couple other things you should know.
First, we're in the final stage of building a big beltway. We're moving pretty fast on that project, meaning people were still driving Packards when it began.
To close the final loop, we'll use what you transportation experts call an innovative financing model: We're borrowing the money from the contractors.
Thank you for not laughing. You're obviously a quick study.
Finally, like all world-class big cities, we've got traffic like you wouldn't believe.
Just ask anybody. They'll tell you that if you hit the peak of rush hour, it can take 10 - sometimes 12! - minutes to get out of downtown. People in the distant burbs might spend a half-hour or more getting home.
Oh, you laugh now.
So what if those continuing daytime dramas you Californians call a commute are behind you now, you need to buckle up, Ms. Flowers.
You're in for a heck of a ride.
