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What's up with all these political signs?

Tracy Curtis
Tracy Lee Curtis
Tracy Lee Curtis is a humorist, writer and speaker. She writes family humor for the Charlotte Observer. Her column appears each Sunday.

I don't get all these political signs in everybody's yard.

I mean, of all the things to advertise your feelings about, you pick your political preference? I'd make it “Low Gas Prices” before “Joe Blow for Mayor.”

It's interesting, though, because a sign outside tells you what's going on inside. Like on my street, a family has a bunch of Obama signs. And the family across the street from them has Clinton signs. So basically, they're telling us they all like the party, but disagree on the host. OK.

But then somebody in the Clinton family added an Obama sign. Hmm, a house divided. I can picture them watching a Democratic debate – always someone clapping, much like when you have a fan from the visiting team sitting in the home section.

I didn't even put one of those storks out in my yard when I had a baby. Too much information. It screams “Hey, we got a baby in here, and it's chaos and everybody's crying and fighting and nobody's slept in weeks.”

Kind of a downer for the neighbors who just want to take a nice quiet walk without being confronted with what's going on in the house behind this sign.

Just like bumper stickers. More than you need to know. I can deconstruct someone's entire life sitting in the car pool line.

I get behind an SUV that has a college alma mater, a school logo, a couple of sports league logos, a peace sign and boom, I know it all. I know they hate Duke. I know where they live based on the school district. And if it's a magnet school in Charlotte, then I smirk because I know the angst they suffered waiting to find out if they got their first choice.

I know she drives to the school, the batting cages, the soccer field, and I know that yoga is what's keeping her together. The only thing I don't know is who she is. My girlfriend's car paints a picture – a Connecticut sticker, preschool logo, a silhouette of a beagle, which is her dog, and a Foo Fighters sticker. After razzing her about the Foo Fighters, she tells me her husband slapped it on her minivan. She got even. She hit him with a “Places to go, people to annoy” sticker on his sedan.

Then there's signage that leaves you hanging. I saw a Moe's license plate today – does he work there? Or does he just love burritos that much? I also saw a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker – too lazy to scrape it off? Or has he not cared about anything since the last election?

I confess I do have one piece of signage in my life. And it's a bumper sticker. BR for Blowing Rock. So if you pull up behind me, the most information you'll get about me is some love or attachment to the mountains. But you'd be wrong. I put it there because it's the only way I can tell which car is mine.

Tracy Curtis: tracyobserver@yahoo.com.
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