I'm going to make an educated guess and say I think it's time you buy a new pair of jeans.

Look, I get it. I'm not a big fan of jeans shopping either. With so many choices - brands, styles, colors - it can be hard to know where to start. But if you own even one pair of denim with "whiskering" (those faded creases that extend outward from the crotch), "distressing" (the faded patches on the front of the thighs, back of knees or butt), or an outdated boot cut fit - then it's time to get yourself a new, grown-up pair of jeans.

If I could dig through your closet right now, I bet I'd find at least a few pairs that would meet my wrath. Sure, everyone deserves one or two pairs of "had 'em forever" jeans that look as if you dragged them behind your car on a cross-country road trip. Those you can keep - as long as you promise only to wear them on Sundays and to the grocery store. The denim I take issue with is the "trendy" kind - because many of those "trendy" pairs aren't so trendy anymore.

My suggestion: a pair of dark, straight leg denim. Un-whiskered. Non-faded. Just a simple, dark wash pair of good-fitting jeans.

As trends go, you can feel pretty confident buying a straight leg pair of pants for the long haul. While skinny, boot cut and all the rest come and go, a straight leg pair of pants will always be in style. Think about it, do you buy your suit pants in a boot cut? Do you look for khakis with a sandblast pattern across the front? No. So why go for all those bells and whistles on your jeans?

Moreover, dark, straight-leg jeans will go with everything in your closet. They'll look as good with a T-shirt and tennis shoes as they will with a blazer and bucks.

As for the color - they don't call it "black tie" for nothing. Dark is dressier, simple as that. Faded jeans scream junior high, or, conversely, dad jeans. You don't want people to think of either of these things when they look at you. Do you?

Picks

Levi's 514 Slim Straight jeans, $54 (us.levi.com)

Old Navy Slim-Fit jeans, $34.50 (oldnavy.com)

Fidelity Denim '5011' Straight Leg jeans, $179 (nordstrom.com)