I recently visited a friend whose wedding I'm standing up in next summer. Our mission: pick out the bridesmaid dresses. After a weekend spent shopping, we'd selected the perfect dress. Three, actually - gotta love a bride who understands the importance of bridesmaids with different body types needing options!

Over brunch the next morning, we started discussing what the groomsmen will wear. The bride said she and her fiance are considering rented tuxedos because, "I don't know if we can ask all the guys to buy a new suit."

I'm not sure if it was the mimosa talking, or the designer dress-sized debit looming on my own bank statement, but I went a little bridesmaidzilla.

Not surprisingly, I'm a big believer in groomsmen shelling out for matching suits for a wedding. Am I a controlling, perfectionist clotheshorse? Sure. But in this situation, I firmly believe I'm in the right. Let me tell you why:

Weddings aren't cheap

Newsflash: Getting married costs money. As a grown man, you should know what you're getting into when you say yes to standing up in someone's wedding. There's the bachelor party. The travel costs. The gift. And yes, the suit. If you can't afford to incur these costs, there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying no to being a groomsman. An honest answer of, "I'm excited to celebrate with you, but financially this isn't something I can do right now" is completely acceptable. Otherwise, you should expect to spend some money, including on what you wear that day.

Investing for the long haul

Renting a tuxedo is like pouring champagne down the drain. It's a waste. And more often than not, a rented tuxedo looks like, well, a rented tuxedo. In my opinion, the first and last time you should rent a tux is your senior prom. Luckily, today you can find a good-fitting suit for about the cost of a bridesmaid dress at Suit Supply (www.suitsupply.com) or the traveling made-to-measure company 9 Tailors (www.9tailors.com).

Guys get off easy anyway

I'm lucky; my friend has great taste and picked out (with my help, cough cough) a beautiful bridesmaid dress that I'll be able to wear again. But sometimes? A lot of times? Bridesmaids dresses are not cute. In fact, I've seen a few that were sure to live in the back of the wearer's closet for the rest of their coral silk taffeta-covered lives. But a suit that fits in a neutral color like navy, gray or black? That can be worn forever.

Fair is fair

The bride who tells her bridesmaids, "Oh, just show up in a black dress" is an urban legend. Bridesmaids are expected to buy the dress she picks out. And get our nails done. And our hair. And our makeup. If the bride gets a cohesive look on her side of the aisle, the groom should expect that his side looks the part of the wedding party, and not just random guests who wandered up front. All you really have to do is the suit - that is, unless your nails need some work too.