Well, the very end of 2011 left me with great sadness and many questions. A dear friend was taken suddenly in a small aircraft accident, along with her husband and two small children - a tragedy that has left me and a whole community of family and friends completely overwhelmed, wondering how to move forward, as we transition into this new year.

What I earlier had in mind for this year now seems rather trivial now. All those things I said I'm going to do, or do better. It's all small-picture stuff. Suddenly this year requires something bigger, more universal, more life-changing. A shift in perception maybe?

The minister who officiated their memorial service offered one piece of advice. He said:

"Life can end suddenly. So here is the lesson: Love now ... Make love an active verb in the present tense of our living."

I like it. I guess. But what does that mean exactly? It's not tangible, it doesn't produce anything, it doesn't DO anything. Does it?

I mean - I guess this idea has already sort of been set in motion. We love this family so much, and are hurting so deeply, that we are all calling, texting, gathering - just trying to love one another through it. I am reminded of who I have not kept in touch with. And who really matters to me in my life. And how some of those very people are the ones I haven't spoken to in years. I need to love them now. Not later.

Maybe loving now is loving what is present. Loving the family that is before you, whether you get along with them or not. Loving whatever form that family comes in, be it separated, divorced or blended. It's what you were given and yours to embrace. It's here now. To be appreciated now.

I can see loving now meaning loving yourself. And not just who you are today, but the potential that is inside you, that you are too afraid and unsure of to really let out. To love yourself enough to put yourself out there - to find the best version of yourself. And to reach out, be a good friend. To know that you can make others around you feel good. My friend certainly always did that.

And it probably means loving just being here. Now. Having gratitude that I'm here to give and receive, create and learn, succeed and fail, rejoice and grieve. To be a part of someone's life. Of someone's family.

Maybe the emphasis is "now." Really being present in each day. Looking at each day as a day of huge possibility.

Or maybe the emphasis is on "love" - as the minister went on to say:

"Love is stronger - than even death."