With a title like this one I shudder to think of what folks may be expecting. Trust me, I have no intentions here of discussing materialism (as it relates to philosophy- I’m plenty happy to be snarky about people being shallow), Ryle, or even The Police. Actually, it’s just a name that popped into mind based on something my 5 year old daughter said. It’s weird when old college phrases suddenly pop into mind. (Given where this blog is likely to end up this could quite possibly be the most ridiculous start I’ve ever done. I blame it on being a little preoccupied with ghosts. Also more likely my coffee is really strong today.)
See, my daughter and I have been taking violin lessons together for a couple of months. We’re collecting quite a bit of loose pages of music that I’d just been kind of stuffing into our music book. The problem with this method of filing is that it’s almost impossible to find what we're looking for- it was becoming clear to both of us that we needed some kind of folder.
Fortunately, because she’s so enamored with the Disney Princess ™ line of Things With Disney Princess ™ Slapped On Them she had a folder handy that was indeed a Thing With Disney Princess ™ Slapped On It. A couple of them, in fact. Thinking about it I have no idea where these princess themed office supplies came from, but whatever- we’ve got them, we might as well use them.
I grabbed one and started loading our music into it, when she said, “Oh wait… don’t use the purple one, it might scare Ms. Morrison!”
Now, it’s certainly not my desire to frighten our music teacher, but at the same time I couldn’t imagine what could be on the Disney Princess ™ “Happily Ever After” ™ purple folder I was holding that could be so scary. “What?” I asked somewhat incredulously, “What’s so scary about Cinderella?”
“That’s the folder with all the ghosts on it”
The hair stood up on the back of my neck.
There’s something about kids and ghosts. They’re both kinda creepy on their own. But combined they’re like a spooky peanut butter cup. I blame The Shining, The Exorcist, Children of the Corn, Village of the Damned, and the myriad other films that pair creepy kids and the supernatural. I just don’t like kids talking matter-of-factly about ghosts and stuff.
“Just look closely at it,” she said (or did she giggle it in a creepy manner!?)
And then I saw it. Much like those awful internet “When you see it!!....” memes (example below for you old folks) I saw it. And now I can’t un-see it.
Okay, back to my folder. On the surface it has a typical picture of Ariel, Cinderella, and Belle in all of their unrealistic childhood-dream-of-royalty glory. But behind Belle is a floating Cinderella head. Underneath Cinderella is an unattached pink foot. Behind Ariel is an unattached yellow arm and hand.
Fortunately it’s not as gruesome as I’m making it sound. Take a look.
I explained that these were not ghosts. They were merely relics of poor quality control at some Chinese Disney Princess ™ Slap a Princess on Everything factory. The most danger this thing posed to our teacher is probably lead in the ink used or maybe asbestos in the paper fibers. I mean, if you can’t get clip art of three princesses right who knows what else you can’t get right.
Still, we decided to keep this folder aside for blog fodder and use the “Dreams Do Come True!” ™ pink folder instead for our music. It’s not really my color, but there are no ghosts on it. At least as far as I have seen yet.
Cue creepy childish giggle.
