The baby boom

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Everywhere I look, someone in my life is getting pregnant. I’ve never seen so many pregnancy/birth announcements, but I suppose it’s also a sign of my age. I’m bound to see more of my friends having children now that I’m in my twenties. At the same time, it’s a little scary. I’m particularly nervous because so many of Robert’s friends are having children. He’s always been more baby-prone than me, and whenever he’s around a child, his eyes light up like little warning signals to my non-baby-ready mind.

I’ve never been the type to get excited about children. Show me a puppy and I’m a complete, love-struck mess, but I’ve never had that reaction to a baby. I think it’s partly due to my inexperience with them. I was the youngest child, which meant I didn’t have a younger sister or brother to look after. Up until now, none of my friends have had children either. So really, I’ve never had the opportunity to understand what it’s like to be around a baby. Whenever I look after a child right now, my unfamiliarity causes lots of tears and blank expressions... from me AND the baby I’m watching.

I know hubby is excited about having a child, but I’m a few steps behind. I still want to travel and work on my career before I’m ready to be a parent. I’m also loving this newlywed feeling and I want to experience that sensation to its fullest before I take on another life adventure. The point is I still have a while until I’m ready to have children. As excited as Robert is for that next chapter in our lives, I know he respects and agrees with the decision to wait. Not only is it not in our budget, but he understands how unprepared I really am.

Although my pupils don’t turn into mini-hearts when I’m around babies, I do want my own children eventually. For one thing, it’s important to Robert. At the same time, being with him has changed everything. He’s the only person I’ve ever imagined myself having a family with, and when the time is right, it will be a beautiful experience for us.

Sometimes life has other plans, but for now I’m just hoping I don’t become a part of the baby boom. Some women are born to be mothers earlier in life, but me... it will take a little more time and work until I’m there.

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