The inclination to withdraw and hide grows stronger and stronger. Like an injured animal, the urge to crawl into a deep, dark hole alone to nurse the wound is nearly impossible to ignore. We are drifting apart, moving further away from one another in an unconscious effort to ignore the approaching anniversary of the worst day we’ve ever known.
When we enter this stretch of time, caring friends and long-standing routines pull us back… Thankfully, we are surrounded by people who refuse to let us lose ground and slip down to the bottom of the valley again…
Every week, rain or shine, John’s closest buddies arrange a round of golf; I’m not sure who looks forward to it more, him or me… By Thursday afternoon, he needs to escape his all girl household and frankly, we need a break too. Hitting the links and hanging with the boys is precisely what’s required to regain some measure of equilibrium.
I doubt his friends realize how important this time is to him; John can be himself and show his true state, whether good, bad or ugly without fear of judgment or reprisal... Most importantly, they treat him exactly the same way they did before everything changed. In short, they all give each other crap, laughing, joking and acting up, just like always; they never cut John any slack. He loves every minute of it. These guys allow him to glimpse, however briefly, the man he used to be.
And that is a priceless gift to our family…
But they never forget, either…
Somehow, they manage to help bear our burden without making it seem like they’re doing anything at all.
Another blessing beyond measure…
I thank heaven every day for friends like these…
We are giving away ‘Remember Brian 06-12-08’ bracelets again for the fourth anniversary. Please email rememberbrian@mindspring.com if you are interested with your mailing address & I will gladly send one (or more) to you! Also, if you are in need of a replacement, I have plenty to share!
Wishing you many blessings, sunshine and hope…tg
Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays
