The sounds drifted up the driveway, unrecognizable at first… As the evening wore on, I realized the echoes were familiar; the distant clatter reminded me of the long ago summers of our other life, from the time when our family circle was unbroken. Audible evidence that Life Goes On…even when it seems impossible that it could. Or that it should.
The world spins faster and faster, hurtling us toward June 12. I don’t want to do this anymore…but it’s not like I have any choice…
How have nearly four years come and gone? This morning I noticed the road sign reading ‘Matthews 7, Pineville 17’ for the first time, followed closely by the shadowy outline of McEwen Funeral Home-Mint Hill. Something about that combination, the name, the number and the last place I ever saw B’s face…I fell apart.
Feels like four minutes since this all began…
I’m not the only one splintering into tiny pieces... If you look in Beth’s direction too hard, she bursts into tears without warning; saying she’s non-stop misty is an understatement. And then there’s Grace, who disappears for hours on end running ‘errands’; whether they’re real or made up, I’m cannot say, but either way, I’m guessing it’s an escape… John’s more together than the rest of us, which is saying something considering one minute he’s cutting down a tree, the next he’s jumping on the bonfire to pack it down, and then he’s slopping some Kilz on a wall, before heading home to spend six hours on a report. I’m not sure whether he’s coming or going…
Clearly, we all have distinct ways and means of hanging on and riding out the next eight days…
Broken hearts may continue to beat, but only in a desperate rhythm uniquely their own…
We are giving away ‘Remember Brian 06-12-08’ bracelets again for the fourth anniversary. Please email rememberbrian@mindspring.com if you are interested with your mailing address & I will gladly send one (or more) to you! Also, if you are in need of a replacement, I have plenty to share!
Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays
