Sometimes if you’re post-baby, or post-divorce, you end up going back to work. And since I’m both, I figure it’s probably time.
Problem is, I haven’t really done the interview thing in a while. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, so I’m not sure what they’ll ask me. But I’m pretty sure I can hang with the boys in the boardroom – show ’em I’m ready for the workforce.
Here’s how the interview went:
Q: Give an example of when you were part of a project from beginning to end, where you contributed and were successful.
I think the biggest project I was ever part of was creating life. The goal was to give birth in the fall, which I achieved with an October due date. The project took off from there, and I attended doctor appointments, ultra-sounds, and birthing classes. I was two weeks late delivering, but I was pleased with the finished product.
Q: Could you give us an example of a project outside of childbirth?
My youngest and I recently assembled the Lego Apple Tree House. It was 539 pieces and we finished it in 3 1/2 hours, complete with basketball goal and lawnmower.
Q: Give an example of when you mediated a dispute successfully.
My oldest really wanted to go to Moe’s for dinner. And he called it first. But my youngest wanted Chick-fil-A. In these types of disputes, it’s impossible to make both parties happy, but I successfully mediated a compromise that was satisfactory to everyone. We agreed to do Chick-fil-A that evening, with the promise of Moe’s the following night. I was proud that my oldest was willing to concede, and I only had to pay him $5.
Q: If this were your first day on the job, what is the first thing you would do?
Get a babysitter. Then I’d call the PTA president and try to get out of chairing the Prospective Parent committee. I’d put all the pictures of my kids on a flash-drive to make room on my computer for programs like Excel. Then I’d learn some computer programs like Excel. Then I’d call Pizza Hut and have a sausage pizza sent to my house, because I haven’t been to the grocery store.
Q: What do you see as your biggest challenge in this job?
Wearing heels again. Trying to figure out how many work outfits I can get out of one pair of black pants. Driving each morning to a destination that isn’t a circular drive where I drop children and go right back home. Thinking clearly. All day long. Stuff like that.
Q: Where do you see yourself in three years?
From the looks on your faces? Um, I see myself … still looking for a job.