A comfortable lounge chair, centered beneath the whirling ceiling fan on the screened porch… A tall glass of sweet iced tea, sweating on the small table nearby… A new Louis L’Amour paperback, waiting patiently to be cracked open… No demands, no due dates, just me kicking back and enjoying the lake view… I’m looking forward to an afternoon or two like this real soon…
Unfortunately, my wish for an impromptu vacation failed to materialize as I had hoped… Our appraisal work had slowed; Beth and Grace had flown the coop to cooler climes; we had decided against hosting our annual 4th of July party for the first time in seven years, all of which should have allowed us to pick up and go…not so. We ended up staying home, tending to Silly, Kitty Girl and working on various projects, despite the record heat…
I’ve concluded neither John nor I truly know how to rest or even relax anymore.
In our old life, it seemed we always had some downtime. I clearly remember John stretching out on the couch, watching whatever sport was in season or any one of several home improvement shows and doing nothing more for an afternoon. There was no multi-tasking, no drafting an impossible to-do list for the following day, no working from sunup well past sundown. I would frequently join him, leisurely reading or working on my latest needlecraft project, seldom stressing over any tasks I’d left undone.
According to the Bing dictionary, a workaholic is “somebody addicted to work; somebody who has a compulsive need to work hard and for very long hours.” I don’t believe it’s a conscious decision on our part anymore, but rather a habit we’ve grown into… Whether it came about as an emotional escape mechanism or in reaction to the recession and resultant financial pressures, I cannot say for certain…perhaps it is some of both and maybe more…
But I’ve found we’re both trying to do more and accomplishing less. I’m struggling to write and hit deadlines more and more often, and I’m completely out of touch and out of control with managing my time. Days turn into weeks without separation or variation and suddenly a month has flown by…
Have Mercy. Why is it so hard for us to sit still?
The time has come to take radical action; as ridiculous as it sounds, I’m scheduling some R&R… I’m writing it on our calendar in permanent ink and insisting we stick to it. We cannot go on this way, for it is surely taking a toll…
Wishing you many blessings, sunshine and hope…tg
Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays
