I’m amazed that no matter where we are or what we’re doing this summer, there is always some issue, challenge or point of contention. How can this be? We’re on vacation. Yet there’s always some problem we’re trying to solve.
At the beach. There’s a whole debate about who’s going to dig the hole. This, after a discussion back at the condo about whether we’re going to dig a hole at all. Then it’s determined we don’t have enough shovels, so we need more shovels, so we go get more shovels.
We get to the beach, and somebody’s built a kick-butt drip castle the size of a Volkswagen. So do we not dig a hole and construct our own kick-butt drip castle? Or do we take over this abandoned castle and do an addition? Maybe add a moat?
But you can’t get a consensus on a decision like this. Half the kids take on the architectural challenge, while the others start digging a giant pit. Which creates another problem, because they later abandon it when the dripping on the drip castle just looks like too much fun.
And they leave this giant hole in the beach that nobody’s going to notice without kids around it. That is, until they fall into it. So then we have to halt construction on the castle, pull all the workers, and tell them we’re going to dock their lunch if they don’t fill in the grave.
We can’t even take a walk. I get my two boys a mile down the beach and their wet bathing suits start chafing. They can barely move, I certainly can’t carry them back, and everybody’s panicking.
Only thing to do is take off their bathing suits and give them the clothes that I’ve got on over my own suit. The oldest gets my shorts that he has to hold up like a potato sack. And the youngest gets my shirt that hangs down to his knees. I was so relieved I got them back, that I still wear a bathing suit under my clothes everywhere I go – just in case.
On a boat at the lake, it’s who gets to go tubing first? Who gets to ride with him? How do you keep the tube still while you try to climb on, how fast do you want to go, and can we get all five boys on it for a picture?
A simple bike ride – a search for helmets, the tire pump, the water bottles that fit the holder on the bike. Who’s the fastest, the slowest, and an argument about why it’s not fair since not everybody has gears.
Everything’s such a hassle, I’m actually missing video games. No maintenance, no danger to others, the rules are established, and you play alone.
And there’s no chafing. So I could take off this bathing suit.
