Political conventions require themes.
They usually run in the upbeat genre of “Forward Together” or “Chicken in Every Pot,” unless they’re held in Chicago where more traditional catchphrases are popular, like “One More Word Out of You And You’re Going To Get Clubbed.”
Here in Charlotte, the Democrats have not yet announced their theme for their September convention. They may be keeping it dark so the Republicans don’t make fun of it, or they may still be thinking up something good.
To be helpful, a few suggestions:
• “Hey! – 92 Percent Employment Ain’t Bad.” This is one of those glass-half-full approaches that emphasizes the positive in such a way that even the Negative Nellies among us are struck speechless for a time. At least 92 percent of them, anyway.
• “Clearly, You’ve Never Been Stuck With A Fixer-Upper.” This goes to the emotional core of anyone who has ever acquired property with confidence they could fix it up. Years later, they’re still at it, weary and aware that every stroke of the hammer only makes things worse.
• “We’re Still on Target.” This one reassures the public that there is a target and everything will be peachy in time. It also dovetails nicely with the Democrats’ assurances that fundraising to underwrite the convention is “still on target,” though no one will say whether they’re going to need a big bake sale at the end to make their numbers.
• “If You Like French Fries Now, You’ll Love Obamacare Later.” This provocative slogan goes right to the heart of the American experience.
• “More Investment From China Than Any Other Administration.” Most people don’t understand the complexities of unbalanced budgets and international finance. Such ignorance can be exploited.
• “If Your Kids Can Afford Those Fancy Phones, They Can Certainly Handle the National Debt.” Point out that at a penny per text, the millennials could erase the national debt in a couple hours. That may even be true.
• “Anybody Seen Bin Laden Lately?” I’d run that down to the copyright office today. In some ways, we are better off than four years ago.
