Sister Sister

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When my younger sister announced her engagement in October of last year, I was so happy for her. I knew that it was inevitable -- she had found a great guy and followed him out to California after college in a move that was both gutsy and incredibly stupid -- the kind of thing you can only do with love and naiveté. Despite my family’s fears, she had succeeded in finding a great job while managing her relationship, and I was really proud of her.

I wondered if poor Tom, her fiancé, really knew and understood what he was getting himself into. I had put up with my sister for 24 years. He’d had to tolerate her for less than a sixth of that.

Joking aside, I was so happy for both of them, but that happiness was slightly clouded when I found out two things: 1) Tom had proposed to Caitlin in exactly the same place and way that Coach Love was planning to propose to me, and 2) Caitlin was planning an 18-month-long engagement.

We all had to wait a year-and-a-half for her May wedding.

To be fair to little sis, Coach Love and I were in the middle of the world’s shortest and least break-like break. I was freaking out that he was going to propose because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to settle down for the rest of my life. I still had a lot of things that I wanted to do with my life, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do all of them as a couple.

Did I want to have to ask permission to take a trip to Spain? Could I go without him? Was I going to feel guilty if I splurged on a new purse with my first paycheck? If I wanted to do nothing with my day except eat Hot Cheetos and watch “Law and Order: SVU” in my pajamas, did I want that to infringe on someone else’s day and space?

With such important questions left unanswered, we took a tumultuous break that left Coach Love blindsided, me feeling like an idiot, and Tom and Caitlin in the clear to get engaged at Notre Dame, where the three of us went to school.

At Notre Dame, there is a tradition to propose by the lakes -- the two large lakes on campus, St. Joseph’s and St. Mary’s. Tom did it right and proposed there in October with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen (except for mine, of course), and the trouble began.

When Coach Love and I rekindled our romance about two weeks after my quarter-life crisis, it was no walk in the park. Now, the poor guy was on pins and needles with a proposal, and it would take him another six months to get up the guts to ask. It wasn’t football season anymore, so Notre Dame was out of the question, especially because he didn’t want the proposal to be like Tom and Caitlin’s.

My little sister got my dream engagement, and I was pretty upset. Not at her or Tom, but because I had been an idiot and flubbed it up myself. My little sister got something that I had wanted for at least eight years and that was important to me.

It didn’t help that I learned of her engagement through one of her dipstick friends, who sent me a text message about it before my sister got in touch with me. I knew Tom and Caitlin were at Notre Dame for a football game that weekend, so it didn’t take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. In addition to everything that I was now feeling, I was extremely hurt that I didn’t first hear about my sister’s engagement through her.

Despite what eventually turned out to be my own absolutely amazing engagement six months later (check it out in Neil’s words here, I had to have “The Talk” with my sister in the meantime:

What happens if Coach Love and I want to get married before your long engagement is over?

Caitlin assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem, but like I said -- I had put up with this kid for 24 years. I knew that the battle had just begun.

To find out what’s become of our engagements, read “Double Trouble” next week about picking a wedding date that meets everyone’s needs.

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