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You don't have to be crazy to play, but ...

By Ron Green Sr.
Special to the Observer
Ron Green Sr.
Ron Green Sr. is a retired Observer columnist.

After long observation, I am convinced that beneath every golf hat there lurks the potential for lunacy and in some cases, it has already set in.

Lunacy as perpetrated by the golfer or lunacy dumped on the golfer by the game itself.

As evidence, I offer the following examples neatly packaged in a book named “The Golf Nut’s Book of Amazing Feats & Records,” by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo that has languished on my shelves for several years:

Lowest Nine-Hole Score for a Blindfolded Golfer Using Only a 5-Iron, an 8-Iron and a Putter, 46. Why? Well, for one thing, the guy had been drinking and, well, that’s explanation enough.

Most Objects Hit en Route to a Hole in One, four.

This sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie. The shanked ball hit a cow in the forehead, bounced off a sprinkler, bounced off a parked tractor, hit the flag and dropped in. Routine ace.

Longest Weekly Round-Trip Commute to Play Golf. 550 miles.

This candidate for a strait jacket traveled by boat in shark-infested ocean, motorcycle through treacherous wilderness and car to squeeze in his weekly 27 holes. Don’t tell me it’s not a sickness.

Most Pros Photographed Dropping Their Pants at the Same Time. four.

During the 1973 Ryder Cup matches, Lee Trevino vowed that if didn’t beat Peter Oosterhuis, he would kiss the posteriors of every other member of the American team. He only managed to halve with Oosterhuis and when he came into the lockerroom, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Gay Brewer and Dave Hill dropped their pants while a photographer recorded the moment. Did Trevino pay off? He wouldn’t tell.

Coldest Round Ever Played, minus 27 degrees, wind chill factor minus 75.

Chicago radio personality Larry Lujack did it and he didn’t even have a bet. He figured he shot between 90 and 95. His scorecard conveniently blew away.

Most Strokes Taken by a Foursome in an 18-Hole Round, 836.

It wouldn’t have been that high but one of the guys missed a putt on the last hole.

Fastest Round in a Dense Fog Without Losing a Ball, two hours and 15 minutes.

Dense fogs are fairly common at golf courses, mostly after the round.

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