I apologize for missing yet another post. You see, for the last few days, I’ve been a big, fat mess…way out of sorts, alternating between extreme anger and depressed funkiness…either ranting or crying. I was just painfully reminded that we live in a “What have you done for me lately?” kind of world.
My husband has it pretty rough right now; in addition to dealing with a horrible case of poison ivy, he is trying to do the impossible: figure out a way to soothe my hurt feelings and rid me of my furious inclinations.
Without warning, I have been given notice and in short order, I will be relegated to the ranks of the unemployed. John was tasked with delivering the bad news to me last week.
The explanation that was given is one I’m certain many others have heard since the onset of the recession: cost control. Specifically, I’m being let go to eliminate the company-paid portion of my health insurance premium and the expense of payroll taxes on any commission I’m paid.
The reasons I’m upset are varied and complicated; I’m still trying to sort them all out, beginning with the fact that I’ve never been ‘terminated’ from any job in my entire life and ending with I should have seen it coming…
I’ve worked a number of positions for this firm for more than a decade, wearing different hats and often performing multiple roles, depending upon what was needed at any given moment: part-time, full-time, in-house, work from home, on-call 24-7, holiday duty, you name it: whatever was required to get the job done, I did it-and quite well, in fact.
I suppose it’s my own fault. After losing Brian, followed by being a caregiver for the better part of a year, I no longer had the capacity to contend with the demands of my old administrative position; I couldn’t deal with the high stress, pressure-cooker, ‘no-win situation’ job anymore. I moved to an appraiser/support role, working as John’s assistant, compensated as a commission-only employee tied to his productivity. Everyone was on board when the changeover occurred about this time last year.
I thought things were going quite well… Well, apparently not.
Lord knows, I’ve been through far worse than this... I have to trust and believe that something grand lies ahead, waiting just down the road a ways, hidden behind my wounded pride and roller coaster feelings.
Recently I read there’s nothing so bad it couldn’t be worse; to my way of thinking, then surely the opposite must also be true: there’s nothing so good that it couldn’t be better. In fact, I’m counting on it…
Wishing you many blessings and hope…tg
Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…