“Mom, how do you know when something is right? I mean, how can you be sure you’re making the right decision, doing the right thing?”
I’ve heard this a lot recently, as our girls have grappled with different situations, trying to determine the best course of action…
I wish I had a satisfactory answer for them, some sort of go-to guide instead of “Well, it depends…”
At the ripe old age of forty-something, I’m not sure I’m any better equipped to know than they are.
Sometimes the right thing is obvious: follow the Ten Commandments, obey the law, respect your elders, clean up after yourself...those sorts of decisions fall in line without thought or effort, since they are instilled in us from a very young age. Other times, though, things aren’t necessarily black and white; emotions muddy the water and make it harder to do what you should, like responding nicely to a rude salesclerk or not tailgating the car that just cut you off in traffic.
Beth went to a lot of trouble and expense to host a baby shower for an old friend last month; since then, she hasn’t heard a single word from her. Not a peep: no thank-you, no due date update, nothing… She decided to let go of her hurt feelings, given the extreme life changes her friend is contending with, rather than call and ask why…
Still, those sorts of decisions are easy compared to moments when you stand at one of life’s crossroads… Quite often, in those instances, it’s hard to know if you chose the right path until well after the fact, if ever... I mean, at the time John and I gave Brian his car, it was absolutely the right decision, but given what happened, was it really? Only Heaven knows…
And what if it involves the health or well-being of someone else? Two weeks ago, a friend of Grace’s confided in her, sharing a terrible secret: this young woman’s boyfriend hits her on a regular basis. What to do-stay silent or let her parents know? After a lot of effort, Grace managed to persuade her friend to tell her parents about his abuse…
The bottom line-there’s no way to be absolutely certain you’ve gotten it right… All you can do is the best you can: make a list of pros and cons, ask trusted friends and family for advice, pray continuously for guidance, take the time to evaluate options, trust your instincts, and stay true to your beliefs… Leave the rest to the Man upstairs.
Wishing you many blessings and hope…tg
Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…
