So I got my first writing award. Well, it wasn’t so much an award as a shout-out. Well, it wasn’t so much a shout-out as a diss. In an edition of a weekly alternative paper, I’m Critics’ Pick for “Local Columnist You’re Sick of.”

Hey, I’m right there with ya. Six years of yammering on about life and family and kids, blah blah blah, I had it coming. This thing’s probably right on the money.

At least it starts off nice. They say they feel a little bad giving this “mommy blogger” this award. That’s sweet.

“But sentimentality aside, Curtis’ “ra-ra Charlotte” attitude is more than a little obnoxious.”

Huh?

“We already have enough coming from Uptown boosters who get paid specifically to shake pom poms.”

What? Didn’t see that coming. “Mommy bloggers” are notorious for promoting their kids, not their city. But see, this is why critical awards are necessary, because they force us to see ourselves as others see us. Clearly, I’m not aware of how much I’ve been cheering and championing for Charlotte.

I know in the last four weeks I wrote about mammograms, sick kids, lizards and a girls’ lunch. But that was probably after they went to print.

So if I go back, before that, I wrote about a burger receipt and Facebook reporting. Then there was a week of the DNC, which covered the hangover, comfy shoes, Godzilla, Jon Stewart and protestors. Must have been something before that – let’s see:

Alec Baldwin, imperfect kids, end of summer, the Olympics, beach tents, a job interview, Ninjas, Madonna, housecleaning, brotherly love, camp bugles, a black bathing suit, and my Mom.

Further back? The principal’s office, nude shoes, Arnold Palmer, the Women’s Survival Guide, power walking, challenge sports, snowboarding, Valentine’s gifts, Pandora, red carpet dresses, Lego pirate ships, drapes, and how to fit a zoo in your refrigerator.

What am I missing? I don’t ever write about Charlotte. I don’t even write about Charlotte establishments. Just Costco and the Harris Teeter, but that’s hardly anything to shake a pom pom at.

The diss wraps up with, “Her posts that focus on parenting seem insightful and useful; maybe if she stuck to that, we won’t have to put her in a time-out.” Not the best writing, but I do like the sentiment.

And I got no problem sticking to the Mommy thing. I’m just glad I get to do it in one of the most beautiful, fastest-growing, vibrant cities in the southeast, named in 1762 in honor of the British Queen!

Oops.