I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Because it’s the easiest.
Starting with, you don’t have to wear a costume. Your children don’t have to wear a costume, which is huge. There’s not even a chance that you could be invited to a party where you’re required to wear a costume, much less a themed costume, that forces you to buy your first pair of white go-go boots.
You don’t have to pick out a pumpkin, or schlep it anywhere, or clear a room so you can pull out a giant butcher knife, only to try to cut tiny pupils, which a pumpkin shouldn’t really even have. And since when did you need to draw on ears?
And you don’t have to stuff glow sticks in your children’s clothes to track them in the dark, while they go door-to-door asking for free candy. Then listen to them complain that the free candy is lame, while refusing to give Mommy even one – one – Kit Kat bar.
The Thanksgiving holiday definitely has my vote over the front-end of the holiday season.
Now, on the back-end – even more so. You don’t have to cut down a tree. Or explain why the popsicle ornament has so much less glitter on it than it did in 2004. Or wait for the Elf on the Shelf to appear, only to watch him disappear and reappear for 30 days and nights until he disappears forever. Making everybody cry.
Nobody is expecting a gift. Or a card with your perfectly perfect family all dressed in the same outfit. Or to be handed a holiday cocktail napkin with something really snarky on it like a picture of Santa saying “Go ahead be naughty – save me a trip.”
You don’t have to sing, carol or listen to Thanksgiving music. Because there is none. And unlike Christmas, there are no special cookies, cocktails, sweaters, or lights. It’s one thing: A Meal.
Sure, there are those of you out there who just can’t take advantage of the break between Halloween and Christmas. And that’s your problem – you’re convinced it needs to be just as much work as the other holidays.
And so you cook up a fancy Juniper Brined Turkey With Paprika Butter, Ciabtata Stuffing With Chestnuts and Pancetta, Scalloped Potatoes with Crème Fraiche, Cran-Citrus Chutney, and a Pumpkin Spice Torte.
Knock yourself out. I’m puttin’ a turkey in a pot, and stickin’ it in the oven.
And then I’m gonna sit on the couch and watch the Macy’s parade with my parents and my sisters and all our kids, in front of a fire, in a pair of comfy jeans.
And my white go-go boots.