Cattle Skulls and Beanbag Chairs: Combating the Bachelor Pad

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The good news? I didn’t gain any weight (yet) from Thanksgiving feasting. The bad news? My budget took a beating when Erik and I decided on investing in new furniture this weekend.

Naturally, as a nontraditional bride and groom, Erik and I live together. I moved into the home he owns about three years ago. Financially it worked out much better for both of us to share the expenses since his roommate was moving out and my lease was up. Though my grandmothers all raised eyebrows at the decision, it was what worked for us in a difficult financial time.

Now, after three years, we’re still feminizing and upgrading the bachelor pad. We made the big decision this weekend to invest in a whole new living room set, and to replace the worn out bachelor-pad leather with more family-friendly microfiber.

My friend Jamie describes first seeing Erik’s house as this: when you walked into the front door, a huge cattle skull hung over the mantle. There was one whole room dedicated to hunting memorabilia, and another to sports. The living room was a throwback to the Old West. The tops of the kitchen cabinets were lined with alcohol bottles posed as decoration. I was impressed that he had a decorating scheme at all, but needless to say, it has been a process.

Though we still have a hunting themed room and a “Man Cave” full of sports memorabilia, we have established boundaries for what is ours (mine) to decorate and what is his. I have strict limits not to touch the man cave, the garage and one spare bedroom. He has let me redecorate the rest, one room at a time.

I’m thankful that Erik is the kind of guy who is willing to share his space with me, a space that we now call “ours.” He’s been fairly easy-going about my takeover of the bachelor pad, and I’ve tried to be conscious of what he wants too. This weekend we bought our first set of NEW furniture -- an upgrade from our usual hand-me-downs and cheaper finds. A step in the direction of our new life together.

For those newlyweds (or couples) moving in together, it can be done. The trick is patience, compromise, and trips to the Goodwill. At some point you have to give up your floral bedspread, and he might have to sacrifice the bean-bag chair, but in the end it’s worth it! Remember to start with one room at a time and to make it about BOTH of you. Don’t be afraid to “beg/borrow/steal” from family and friends in your first place together. You do (and re-do) what you can as you can do it. Rome wasn’t built in a day!

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