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As our wedding date rapidly draws near, I find my fiancé and I becoming more and more flustered as planning-related topics come up. Conversations have become explosive over subjects like cake frosting, vases, and veils. The stress of planning my own wedding has become more intense with each passing minute, and yet I still refuse to give up the reins. Is this a general issue that I have with delegation, or is this my inner Bridezilla rearing her mean little head?

When it comes to delegating tasks to others, there are certain things that I’m just not going to trust other folks to do. As much as I could give a wedding planner my “vision,” I’m not going to pay someone else to do something that might not turn out exactly how I want. My florist will know down to the leaf what I expect from her, and my cake decorator already has a picture of the exact cake design I want. The photographer will have a list of shots I want by the end of the night, and our DJ will have a list of songs that must be played and songs that won’t make the cut.

Sorry, “Cupid Shuffle.”

“Electric Slide,” I’ll be coming for you next.

Nothing flies by for payment without a professional proof, because I’ve heard and seen plenty of horror stories. Whether or not a bride wants to admit her cake turned out terribly, her photos weren’t worth what she paid for them, or her wedding planner didn’t truly understand what she hoped for, there are some things that are just obvious in the finished product that should have been within her control, and I am determined to control them.

As overwhelmed as I occasionally feel because I’m in charge of so much, my fiancé feels equally overwhelmed because he’s not being asked to do enough. I struggle finding tasks that I trust to him—he still isn’t entirely sure what our wedding colors are and can’t figure out the difference between maroon and fuchsia, so I’m never sure what to work with. I find that the more I delegate to him, the more questions he asks me about his tasks. What is the point of delegating if you still have to do most of the work?!

In terms of some things, I have let them go. My bridesmaids get to pick their own dress style and wear whatever shoes they want. My fiancé can decide if his fleet will be with or without ties, and the color of their suits. A groomsman will be picking out all of the alcohol that we will be serving. We trusted our caterer with recommendations on numbers of hors d’ouevres and a variety of different foods. My sister and maid of honor, Caitlin, has taken on a ton of stuff for me pre-wedding, despite the fact that it’s pre-HER wedding, as well.

Still, I realize that I’m a control freak. For tens of thousands of dollars, I think I have the right to be, and I think most vendors appreciate being given a strong direction. Yet I wish I could let go of some things. I’m okay with something going wrong on the big day, I just don’t want it to be something that I could have prevented.

Are there any other brides out there wishing they could back off micro-managing?

What have you given folks to do that you either do or don’t regret?

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