It’s OK for a woman to ask a man out on a date. Sure, it can be an ego boost to be “chosen,” but that’s no excuse to wait around for a man who’s dropping signals left and right to ask you out. If a guy likes you – especially if he’s too shy or over-analytical to let you know – he’s not going to be turned off when you show a little interest. He’s going to be psyched.
So how can you know that a man is likely to welcome your advances? There are occasions upon which you may plausibly assume that a guy is interested.
Here are seven “green lights” to watch for. Any one is probably a good indicator that you won’t be totally humiliated when you go out on a limb, but a combination of two or three? Go for it.
1 He showed up to your thing.
If a guy that you don’t know that well makes it to your party/opening/reading/event, it’s a good indicator he’s at least interested in your friendship. If he shows up by himself, you are well within your rights to ask him when he’s free this week for a drink.
2 He “lingers.”
You know that point when you’ve run out of casual conversation but you’re not quite done, and you both pause and kind of regard each other for a moment? You’ve got about six seconds before he rocks back on his heels, sticks is hands in his pockets and says, “OK. So. See you around, yeah?” and walks off.
Take those six seconds to ask him out. “Lingering” is an indicator that someone is hoping for something else to happen. Be the one to make it happen.
3 He made you a mix.
No man has ever made a mix for a woman that he wasn’t interested in. I’m not saying if a guy burns the new Wilco album for you, then you should definitely ask him out, but if he actually selected songs with you in mind and put them in a particular order? Jump. On. That.
4 He dresses up a little for you.
He’s normally a scruffy, T-shirt and jeans kind of dude. But then he shows up for drinks with you and mutual friends and he’s clean shaven and wearing a blazer? Watch him. Is he smoothing his jeans or fixing his collar when you’re around? Does he come back from the bathroom with his hair a little wet? This means that he suddenly, for some reason, cares more about what he looks like than normal. If you notice this consistently, chances are, that reason is you.
5 His friends already know about you.
If he introduces you to one of his friends and his friend says “Oh, yeah! Hey! Good to meet you!” That means his friend has heard about you. Which means this man you’re interested in? He’s been talking about you.
6 He remembers things you told him and follows up.
“Hey, how was that (thing you mentioned in passing) this weekend?” Maybe he’s just being nice, but he does want you to know that he’s paying attention. This alone probably shouldn’t prompt you to kiss him, but there’s a good chance he’s interested.
7 He touches you when he talks to you.
In fact, he looks for any excuse he can to casually touch you. He could just say your name when he’s trying to get your attention. Instead, he touches your shoulder. He could just nod vigorously when he agrees with the point you’re making. Instead, he slaps you on the knee.
You’re now clear to initiate the exchange of phone numbers. You know: So the two of you can continue to talk about that thing you so emphatically, knee-slappingly agree on.
The Charlotte Observer welcomes your comments on news of the day. The more voices engaged in conversation, the better for us all, but do keep it civil. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.
Have a news tip? You can send it to a local news editor; email firstname.lastname@example.org to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Charlotte Observer.Read moreRead less