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Gifts to 2012 newsmakers

For U.S. Rep. Virginia Foxx, R-N.C., bigger britches, because she’s clearly too big for the ones she has. According to the Hill, Foxx berated a junior staffer this month for riding on a “members only” elevator. When the staffer pointed out that it was members only “during votes,” Foxx started yelling “Members only!” Foxx says the story is an “exaggeration,” but didn’t deny the incident occurred.

For Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx, a Segway and a segue. The first will get him to Johnson C. Smith without a streetcar; the second will get him to his next chapter with a fractured City Council.

For redistricter-in-chief Bob Rucho, a game of Spirograph, to indulge his passion for drawing crazy designs.

For former Progress Energy CEO Bill Johnson, a carton of Neosporin. The wound from the knife in his back is still healing.

For Charlotte Knights General Manager Dan Rajkowski: A copy of “Veeck as in Wreck,” the autobiography of baseball’s legendary promoter Bill Veeck. Rajkowski finally got his stadium; now he has to fill it.

For the Democrats in the legislature, one of those giant foam No. 1 hands, so they can be recognized by the speaker from way back on the back bench.

For retiring U.S. Rep. Sue Myrick, a 4-disc set of the full first season of Homeland, to ease her withdrawal from the House Intelligence Committee.

For Erskine Bowles, a box of chocolates after President Obama left him at the altar.

For President Obama, an umbrella, since a 10 percent chance of rain scared him inside, from BofA Stadium to the arena.

For congressional mudslingers Robert Pittenger and Jim Pendergraph, soap on a rope.

For Mecklenburg County Manager Harry Jones, a $50 savings bond. The poor man makes only $300,000 a year, and was reportedly quite upset at receiving no raise this fall.

For Michael Jordan, a pair of Air Jordans. After a promising start, the Bobcats are back to their old ways and could use their owner on the hardwood.

For Charlotte Chamber chief Bob Morgan, a US Airways route map and schedule, so his team’s inter-city trip won’t get aborted like this year’s jaunt to London was.

For Mecklenburg County commissioner Bill James, a Lowe’s gift card, to cover the fencing he’ll need to put up around Ballantyne after it secedes.

For Mecklenburg commissioners chairman Pat Cotham, a shovel, so she can dig to the bottom of revaluation, DSS and other county messes.

For the uncompensated victims of N.C.’s sterilization program, we give the lobbyists for the North Carolina’s billboard industry, because they sure know how to get their way with N.C. legislators.

For Gov.-elect Pat McCrory, a ticket for the Lynx light rail in Charlotte, as a hopeful reminder of what can be accomplished when a leader thinks about what’s good for all, not just good for his party.

For House Speaker Thom Tillis, an alarm clock set for some time well earlier than midnight. When it goes off, he should adjourn that day’s session.

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