So my New Year’s resolutions are to workout, go organic, never holler at my children and stop watching Bravo TV.

No, they’re not.

But I do have some goals for this New Year, based on the mistakes of this past year:

Christmas shopping: I’m going to implement what I’m going to call “The 12 Months of Christmas,” whereby I shop for Christmas once a month. And whatever I buy, I assemble it and wrap it as I go. So that when I’m sitting at the first holiday luncheon of the season, I can say, “I’m done,” instead of, “When does the mall start opening at 8?” And we can drink eggnog Christmas Eve, instead of assembling a train set for three hours. And I won’t have to break out the glue because I ran out of tape.

Computer security: Having been locked out of all our computers and emails and gaming accounts, I’m going to streamline our codes. I’m going to take all my logins and usernames and change them to Tracy Curtis. And then I’m going to make all the passwords “forgot2012.” And then I’m going to take all the kids’ logins and usernames and change them to “Curtis Boys.” And then I’m going to make all the passwords “videogamesRbad2013.”

And then I’m going to laminate it, bronze it, frame it and hang it on the wall inside the coat closet, so that we can all get into our stuff, but still have the utmost security.

Oops.

Grocery shopping: I’m going to create a permanent shopping list of everything we typically need at the grocery, so that I can print it out each time I go. It’s easier to cross off what we don’t need than to try to remember everybody’s favorite cereal and what all goes into the chili. And it’ll make me stick to the list, ensuring healthy choices – I can itemize all the fruits and vegetables we need to get our daily-recommended allowance. And only allow for one Kit Kat bar at the very end.

Miscellaneous account: I’m going to set up a separate savings account that I put money into every month for unexpected expenses. So that words like “orthodontics,” “timing belt,” “procedure” and “not covered by insurance” don’t cause me a panic attack.

Money savers: I’m going to start a calendar of all the Kids Eat Free nights, sales events, happy hours, half-off appetizers, and any time or any place you can buy one, get one free. And then take some of the money I saved and buy a Christmas present. Then put the rest of it into the miscellaneous account.

And then add a second Kit Kat bar to the grocery list.