President Obama will be sworn in with his hand resting on two Bibles. Is that how screwed up Washington is now? One Bible cant get the job done anymore?
The White House announced today that the theme for President Obamas second inauguration will be Faith in Americas Future. The idea is to get our minds off of Americas present.
Daniel Day-Lewis won a Golden Globe for playing Abraham Lincoln and Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin. The foreign press realized that the greatest challenge for an actor in Hollywood is pretending to be a Republican.
This flu epidemic is just terrible. Experts say that those hit hardest are the very old and the very young. So thats especially bad news for Hugh Hefner and his new bride.
Lance Armstrong confessed during his interview with Oprah Winfrey that he did use performance-enhancing drugs to win the Tour de France seven times. This came as a complete shock to as many as a dozen people.
An economist is suggesting that the U.S. Treasury mint a trillion-dollar coin and deposit it in the federal reserve which is how The Lord of the Rings starts, isnt it?
President Obama told Congress it must raise our debt limit because the U.S. is not a deadbeat nation. Then the president added, By the way, if China calls, Im not here.
Wal-Mart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Wal-Mart is going to invade Costco.
Actress Megan Fox compared fame to being bullied in high school. I agree. Ill never forget that day in high school when jocks cornered me in the gym and paid me millions of dollars to star in Transformers.
The Golden Globes last night had a lot of great moments. During Jodie Fosters emotional speech she said she was gay, 50, and friends with Mel Gibson. Afterwards, her publicist told Jodie, Im going to need a raise.
The Consumer Electronics Show is happening in Las Vegas and the most amazing gadgets are being talked about. One of the gadgets this year is a fork that tells you when youre eating too fast. In a related story today, Chris Christie was spotted yelling at his fork to mind its own business.
President Obama recently came under fire over the lack of diversity in his cabinet. Then Obama said, You guys know Ill be there, too, right?
President Obamas team is promising special perks for donors who give at least a million dollars to the inauguration. Which is cool, but you know what else can get you a lot of perks? Keeping that million dollars.
Republicans and Democrats are working on a new bill to streamline the health care system. It will reduce the cost of mammograms and prostate exams. But dont worry. Theyll still be free at the airport.
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