Invitation Station

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Lets face it - weddings are expensive. Little things add up to big things and before you know it, you’re already a few thousand over what you already thought was too much to be spending on a wedding. You’ll ask yourself on a daily basis, “how is this happening?” as your budget steadily gains it’s own weight. I’ll tell ya how. The guest list.

When we first started planning, I thought our heavy hitters were going to be things like photographer, wedding invitations, and venue. But oh boy was I wrong. I noticed our budget grew quite substantially with every plus one or extended cousin we added to the list. While I wish we could make everyone happy, Jeff and I finally had a heart to heart and narrowed down our guest list to the people who are truly the most important and closest to us. I know some feelings are going to get hurt once our save the dates go out within the next few weeks, but it is what it is! There had to be a cut off point.

With about 150 people invited to our Charleston wedding, here’s how we narrowed that number way down:

Don’t get pushed around by your family. I know, I know, that sounds absolutely terrible. But here’s the deal: this is YOUR wedding. Not your mom’s, or your dad’s, or your future in-laws (although you are of course grateful for their financial contribution). You need to decide who YOU GUYS want to share YOUR special day with.

Don’t let people assume they are invited. You’ll be amazed at how many friends come out of the wood-work when they find out you got engaged. Girls you haven’t spoken to in years will automatically assume that because you were friends 10 years ag, they will still be invited to your wedding (and will often ask when to mark the date off on their calendar). SUPER awkward. Feelings will probably get hurt here, but you’ve got to stay true to the friends that have stuck it out with you. And although it would be nice to rekindle a friendship from years ago, it’s a bit selfish for someone to try and play that card just because they want to come to your wedding.

Make an A-list and a B-list. Gosh, all of these just sound so terrible, don’t they?!? Have a list of people you for sure want to invite and second list with about 10-20 people (maybe second cousins that you would like to invite, but just can’t afford to). If you get replies back fairly early with a no, send out an invitation to someone from that “I was hoping I’d get to invite you” list.

Create a criterion for cutting. Here are four rules Jeff and I stuck by when going down our list of invites.

Rule #1 If you have never spoken to, met, or heard the name of a particular guest, he gets cut. No matter how “close” they are to mom and dad.

Rule #2 Little ones who aren’t family or part of the bridal party that will be asleep by 8 P.M

Rule #3 Single friends who want to bring a date only get a plus one if they have been in a relationship for a year or more, or live with that person. If they have been on and off for a while or you haven’t met them, it’s ok to cut them.

Rule #4 Coworkers (outside of bosses that you are close with) get cut as all or nothing. It is unrealistic for people to think you can invite your entire office of 100+ people.

Rule #5 If you can’t say where the person is living, what they do for a profession, or haven’t spoken to them in 3+ months, they get cut.

It’s tough, I know! You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You’ve got to do what is right for you and your fiancé though…which means not starting your marriage off in financial ruins because of your wedding. Be a tough cookie and lay down the law. People will understand.

Good luck!

World peace and skinny jeans,

Sheri xo

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