I love reading the blurbs about this Taylor Swift chick. It just takes me back to those years of teenage angst – the breakups, the makeups – ah, young love:
Swift looked heartbroken as she left One Direction’s Harry Styles following their split during what was supposed to be a romantic break in the British Virgin Islands.
Ugh. It always happens on vacation. You were crazy to even think about coming back from spring break in Myrtle Beach with your relationship intact.
Witnesses spotted a somber-looking Swift leaving U.S. Customs, heading for the St. Thomas airport. Tell me about it. I would cry all the way from the arcade back to the bike rack. I would just be with a girlfriend. She would hold my coin purse while I blew my nose.
Styles then took a trip over to Richard Branson’s private resort on Necker Island, where he hung out in the hot tub and mingled with female fans until the early morning hours.
They always do that! They just run off with their friends like nothing ever happened. And then go to one of their friend’s houses when the parents are out of town, and party with the girls who snuck out. So uncool.
She’ll likely find solace, however, in bestie Selena Gomez, who is dealing with a breakup of her own, after her New Year’s trip to Mexico with Justin Bieber went bad.
Totally. If Laura hadn’t broken up with Brian on their trip to Hardee’s, the same time I broke up with Patrick, I don’t know what I would have done.
Following their split earlier this month, Taylor, who has had several failed relationships with Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas and John Mayer, was said to have been left “embarrassed” by her love life after she was mocked at the Golden Globes and on “Saturday Night Live.”
I know! It’s like the second you break up, everyone wants to talk about what a terrible girlfriend you are. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a cheerleader, I still got dumped. Sometimes even a cheerleader isn’t good enough for the quarterback. You don’t need to point it out, and write about it in my yearbook.
Taylor Swift jets to London for possible Styles reunion.
Now wait a minute. That’s not fair. You can’t get on a private jet and fly to his country and get back together right before prom. You have to sit on the kitchen floor and wait for the phone on the wall to ring while you eat Fig Newtons and watch “Dynasty.”
Who are these people?