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Since February is a short month, we’re only thirty days away from our wedding date and I couldn’t be more excited. However, with the excitement come the deadlines.

When planning your invitations, it’s recommended that you send them out six to eight weeks before the wedding. Because we are having a destination wedding, we sent out Save the Dates about five months before the big day just to make sure everyone already had their calendars cleared when the invitations rolled around. Invitations were sent out about two months in advance, with guests given a month to return the stamped and addressed response cards. The deadline for returning our response cards was yesterday, and we have received back about 40%. I’m panicking and thinking, where did we go wrong?

As one friend pointed out a Facebook comment, there are a significant number of people that don’t understand how completely vital to a wedding the response cards actually are. For starters, with our wedding being outdoors and tented, our headcounts have to be submitted three weeks in advance since every single item is rented for the occasion. That means if you’re not in on the count, you don’t have a knife, a spoon, a chair, or a napkin. These can’t materialize on short notice.

Because our venue does not do the catering and we are on an island, our caterer must order the food well in advance to make sure there is just the right amount for the big day. If food is short and the headcount is off, there is no last-minute shopping or a swing by the store because there isn’t a grocery store on the island.

For a more practical matter, seating arrangements are not in place until all of the guests are accounted for, and response cards are invaluable in helping to arrange people around. With a response card, all you have to do is place it into a stack or under a table number. They can be juggled around and changed on a whim, even the night before if someone gets sick and suddenly there’s only one actual single at the “singles table.”

As a last practical matter, RSVPing verbally or even electronically to a major event like a wedding is nice to do and thoughtful, as long as you still follow it up with the response card. We love everyone that’s been invited, but I can’t remember if Aunt Carolyn told me “she’s going to make it” or “she’d love to make it.” Certainly, I have little-to-no idea what Coach Love’s friends and coworkers have told him, and when I ask again, I tend to get a blank stare.

With one month to go, receiving response cards and watching your budget fluctuate one way or the other is an extremely stressful situation on top of everything else that a bride is dealing with, so organization is imperative to reducing that. Right now, our response cards are arranged in a nice little burlap bag we got when we registered at Macy’s. There is a divider in the middle for yes’s to go in front of and no’s to go behind. Response cards for the rehearsal dinner have the food selections stapled to them and are in the very front of the bag. Beneath the bag is a master guest list so that every name gets checked off before it goes in.

I am excited about my wedding. I am thrilled to see who will be able to make it, and I completely understand timing, financial, or family restrictions that will prohibit more from attending. But please, you probably knew as soon as you received the Save the Date whether or not you could make it, so help a bride out and fill her in with your reply! I know you all want to talk to me and hear all about the planning, but 60% of my guest list is a lot of checking up to do!

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