Over the weekend, President Obama played golf with Tiger Woods. Tiger said the president was a very good golfer for a guy who plays only five days a week.
Actually, you know what the presidents handicap is? He doesnt understand economics.
Actually, Tiger Woods gave the president some very valuable tips. The most valuable one? Erase all of your text messages.
A top geneticist at Stanford says human intelligence is declining. You know what that means? We are seeing Congress at its smartest and most effective right now.
The big question: Whos going to replace the pope? Wheres the new pope going to come from? I think they should check out Whole Foods. Ive seen plenty of holier-than-thou people walking around that place.
A top food manufacturer is reporting that some of their pasta meals contain horse meat. So if I were you, Id stay away from the Rigatoni, My Little Pony.
In Massachusetts, a dad promised his daughter $200 if she would get off Facebook, which is ridiculous, because every parent knows the best way to get a kid off of Facebook is to join Facebook.
The Vatican said that as soon as the pope resigns, he will no longer be infallible. The Vatican said its the same thing that happened to Oprah.
The Republican response to President Obamas State of the Union address was given by Senator Marco Rubio. Its just one more example of rich white guys getting a Hispanic to do a job they dont want to do.
In a new interview, Bill Gates said hes not satisfied with the level of innovation at Microsoft. He wouldve said more, but he had to hang up the phone so his assistant could use the Internet.
The White Houses immigration plan was leaked over the weekend, and Florida Senator Marco Rubio is already calling it dead on arrival. That incidentally is also Floridas state motto.
A new study found that humans are slowly getting less intelligent. I was going to read the whole study, but Ill just wait for the movie.
Its a great day for thieves in Belgium. They got away with more than $50 million worth of pure, uncut diamonds. This diamond heist is the biggest robbery ever pulled off at an airport if you dont count them charging $25 to check a bag.
When I hear about a crime like this, part of me thinks its kind of cool. But stealing is never cool. They took something without it being funny. This wasnt Oceans 11. These guys just came up and took someones hard-earned money without being at all funny or cool. So its more like Oceans 12.
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