Why Brides Become Bridezilla

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I have seen enough episodes of the show “Bridezillas” to know what NOT to do on and around my wedding day. Weighing your friends? Out. Waxing the eyebrows/mustache/chin of your mother-in-law? Definitely out. Making specific demands about the appearance of others? Out. Hissy-fits? Certainly not. Any generally three-year-old worthy behavior should be reserved for, well, three-year-olds.

That being said, I have had a few minutes of stress in wedding planning that almost brought out my inner bridezilla. Here are some of the horrors that you might experience that quickly make temporary bridal insanity take over:

People putting themselves before the bride and groom.

Yes, believe it or not, you are not the center of the universe just because you’re getting married. Your friends and family have other obligations (both monetary and time related) that keep them from wedding events. Some will have really great reasons, and some will have really bad ones. Be prepared for these small disappointments.

People making you feel guilty or threatening not to attend.

So, you didn’t invite your cousin’s ex-wife or your aunt’s step-grandchildren? You can’t afford to host 32 cousins? If someone is so brash as to comment on the issue, feel free to offer to give that miscellaneous person their spot at the reception.

Confrontation.

With so much family in close quarters, people can’t always agree or get along. There will be arguments, disagreements and discomfort. As far as I’m concerned, the rules for physical and verbal confrontation are the same: take that mess outside! Your family doesn’t get along? It’s their responsibility to maintain composure. I’m not implying you will have a WWE-style brawl at any time, but there may be harsh tones and raised voices. My solution? Just move on.

Plans changing unexpectedly.

You may recall that my venue was remodeled without notice. People and vendors cancel, emergencies occur, and well-made plans change. Find a way to refocus on the meaning of the day before losing it when something changes.

Money as a weapon.

Money will be an issue from planning day one. Lay out to parents and family members who are contributing to your wedding how you would like them to contribute to the planning portion. If they aren’t clear on this—it WILL be a problem later. Parents, wedding-zilla can plague you too--- don’t hold your contribution over your child’s head as a right to pursue your own wedding related goals.

People disrespecting your time and effort.

RSVP cards will never be returned, despite the fact that they are stamped and dated. People will RSVP yes and fail to attend with little explanation. Though your wedding is YOUR first priority, it isn’t everyone else’s.

Siblings.

Though Erik is an only child and there is a big age difference between my siblings and I, most everyone I talk to has had wedding issues that revolve around their siblings. You’re expecting them to do too much or too little, they want a more significant opinion or less responsibility; there is always sibling conflict surrounding weddings. All too often siblings even plan their own weddings a little too close to yours.

So, despite all the temptations to become a bridezilla, resist the urge. The more dramatic you are in this time of high-emotions, the more hurt feelings and burnt bridges you are likely to produce. Find a good neutral friend to vent to (preferably NOT in the wedding party) and keep any not-so-kind thoughts to yourself. In the end, the wedding is worth the hassle of restraint, but not worth destroying relationships.

For more horrifying moments of bridal insanity, check out these ,a href= "http://www.businessinsider.com/10-horrifying-bridezilla-moments-2012-10?op=1" target="blank>ten “worst” bridal faux pas!

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