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The Observer’s Politics & Public Policy Limericks Contest

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A new weekly winner, plus your 2013 Limericks champion

By Peter St. Onge
Associate Editorial Page editor

You, too, can write limericks. But first, read this.

To write a good limerick, the first rule is to understand the specific rhyme scheme and the specific meter.

Two-time defending champ Wes Long of Cramerton has been noticeably absent from the winner’s circle in this year’s Observer’s Politics and Public Policy Limericks Contest. No more.

Long, who has had strong entries in each of the first three weeks, broke through to win Week 4 with several gems, including one we’re better off not printing here. Our favorite, however, took note of the groundbreaking on Charlotte’s less-controversial stadium, the Charlotte Knight’s BB&T Ballpark:

Buy your tickets and make reservations,

Cause the ballpark begins operations

April, twenty-fourteen.

When it’s also foreseen,

Due to age, it will need renovations.

Long also wrote about the producers of the TV series “The Bible” denying Satan was meant to look like Obama. Someone disagreed:

His portrayal in History’s drama

Caused Glenn Beck psychological trauma.

And he tweeted, “Oh son,

What’s that poor Devil done

To deserve to look just like Obama?”

Long edged out a few competitors this week, including Bob Aldrich of Lake Waccamaw, who wrote about a Gaston County sheriff’s deputy accidentally being shot at a training exercise:

Now, the Gaston Sheriff is explaining

The gun safety rules they’re maintaining.

‘Though he says “Do not fear.”,

I just want to stand clear,

When they’re having assault weapon training.

Aldrich, like many of us, rued his March Madness picks:

Once I’ve picked each March Madness bracket

I record each contest to track it

And while I’m rooting for

My hand-picked final four,

Here comes some high seed to hijack it.

Jeff Kaylor of Mt. Holly also was mournful:

There’s a trick to the March Madness bracket.

Gotta take a few gambles to crack it.

Thought I’d go all the way,

Riding Roy, not Coach K.

How’d THAT work? Now on to the Green Jacket.

Charlotte’s Joel Zauss wrote about the GOP “autopsy” – a party report that took a hard look inward:

Self-autopsy by the GOP

Has determined the causes to be

All stemming from drinking.

No, not what you’re thinking,

But an overdose from too much Tea.

Week 2 winner John Long, father of Wes, noticed that Tiger Woods is dating Olympic medalist Lindsey Vonn:

For Lindsey, a skier with skill,

Dating Tiger has been a great thrill.

She said, with a sigh,

“Before meeting this guy,

My life had been going downhill.”

Which brings us to our overall 2013 winner: Bill McGloughlin of Charlotte! McGloughlin won two of the first three weeks, but he didn’t coast to the finish line. Among his many entries this week was a nod to the news that Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx was a candidate for U.S. Secretary of Transportation:

Mayor Foxx has the President’s coat-tail,

But a Cabinet position? That’s upscale!

Though the job has cachet,

His detractors would say

He got run out of town on a light rail.

Congrats to Bill and to all who participated. A fuller sampling of great entries can be found at charlotteobserver.com/limericks. Give it a look and you’ll agree: It was another year of laughing out loud here at the O. We’ll let Mr. McGloughlin send us off:

Entries, as was expected, were strong,

But it’s time now to sing our swan song.

Have no doubt, it’s been fun,

But at four weeks and done,

Like Viagra, it didn’t last long.

Here are some more great entries from Week 4:

Some other great entries from Week 4:

John Long offers an opinion on banning super-sized soft drinks:

Super-sizing should NEVER be banned,

It’s time that we all took a stand.

I’ll fight ‘till I croak,

You can have my big Coke,

When it’s pried from my chubby dead hand.

Charlotte Haberyan wrote about Amazon’s CEO salvaging Apollo 11 engines:

The rich Amazon CEO

Salvaged engines from capsule Apollo.

He put in his cart

Each moon mission part,

But the free shipping option was no-go.

Lou Breaux of Charlotte riffs on two Charlotte bloggers taking on Kraft Foods:

Asking stop with the yellow dyes please,

Will those Bloggers bring Kraft to its knees?

If they don’t get their way

I’m off to the UK

For my “safe” macaroni and cheese.

Loyd Dillon of Charlotte writes about Congress and the President:

Much of Congress's "work" is just trifles

And all things Obama it stifles.

"He's stealing our rights!"

Leads off many fights.

"That tyrant will now assault rifles!"

Joel Zauss has an opinion on Mayor Foxx’s potential gig in Washington:

So Obama wants Foxx, that seems fair.

Transportation, that’s land sea and air.

If selected it seems

He can follow his dreams.

He can build a streetcar to nowhere.

And finally, our champion, Bill McGloughlin, feels his age:

Our connected world, brave, new and bold,

Calls for etiquette changes, we’re told,

When you email or tweet,

Keep it short, if not sweet.

Thank you notes are rude? i m 2 old

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