North Carolina Senator Richard Burr . . . voted no on gun reform legislation. Last month Sen. Burr received a $1,000 donation from a British company that manufactures ammunition. Remember ladies and gentlemen, there is no background check if you plan to buy a senator.
Researchers now believe the first settlers who settled in America, in Jamestown, resorted to cannibalism. The first settlers ate each other. Good thing that didnt catch on. That would have changed Thanksgiving, dont you think?
President Obama held a press conference today. He said he still wants to close the Guantanamo Bay prison facility, but he doesnt know how to do it. He should do what he always does. Declare it a small business and tax it out of existence.
Theres now talk here in California of letting noncitizens serve on juries. The bad news: If youre ever on trial for underpaying your nanny, you could get the death penalty.
They had a big opening of the Bush Library down in Texas. All five living presidents were there. It was a once in a lifetime event a library in Texas.
Its not just a library, its a museum. The exhibits are breathtaking. Theres a map of the world dartboard which Bush used to decide who to invade after 9/11 . . . And theres a weapons of mass destruction pavilion, but no one can find it.
(The Boston Marathon bombers) only had one gun between them. Talk about not assimilating; you are in the United States for 10 years and you only have one gun?
Conservatives like me know that in a budget crisis, everything nonessential has to go -- whether its food for kids who arent mine or some other stuff for people I dont know.
They are now reviewing prisons on Yelp. Although you do get your standard restaurant gripes, like service took forever, was there for 25 years.
Theres a new iPhone app that tells women where they can buy Michelle Obamas clothes. Not only that theres another app that tells men where they can buy Hillary Clintons clothes.
An elementary school here in New York City has become the first school in the country to serve only vegetarian food. Apparently the school board wants to give kids a head start in being difficult at restaurants.
Thats right. A school is serving only vegetarian foods, like tofu. Now when bullies say, Give me your lunch money, students are like, Here, take it.
(The Bush Presidential Library) is basically the Hard Rock Café of catastrophic policy decisions.
(On the librarys Decision Points Theater:) I guess thats better than its original title, Disasterpiece Theater.
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