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In my opinion


Something’s Fishy in South Park

By Tracy Curtis
Tracy Lee Curtis
Tracy Lee Curtis is a humorist, writer and speaker. She writes family humor for the Charlotte Observer. Her column appears each Sunday.

Holy mackerel, they’re fly fishing on Fairview Road!

There’s like 20 people lined up in front of the hedge at Phillips Place in South Park. At first I thought they were all trying to hail a cab. But when I got closer, I saw they were holding fishing rods – casting their lines back and forth toward the street, landing their flies just short of the sidewalk.

They haven’t caught much. Except for a jogger. Guess the fish aren’t biting today. I know they scatter at the sound of a boat, so I imagine cars and trucks have the same effect.

WHOA! Somebody actually caught one! It’s a foot long – and albino. Wait, a minute, it’s cardboard. And those aren’t scales on that fish, that’s Velcro. Nice that it’s not some slimy, squirmy fish you have to unhook from its mouth. He just ripped it off and threw it back in the grass.

Now, THIS is the way to fish – head to Orvis, sign up for a fly fishing class, and then fish with your family and friends.

And we’ll do it with confidence we’ll actually catch something. It offers much better odds than teetering along some rolling river trying to catch a live one swimming all over the place.

You don’t need waders – you don’t even need gear. Just show up.

And it’s perfect for kids because they just want to cast their rod and reel it back in. I once spent a week with five little boys at the lake and we gave them rods with plastic fish attached to the line. They sat on a hill and cast their rods down into a rock bed. Not even into the lake. And then reeled in their fish, yelling every time, “Hey, I caught one!”

And as a parent, who couldn’t handle an entire day where the kids didn’t catch anything, I promise this is the way to go.

And Dean & Deluca is right there, you can go have lunch. And then rent “A River Runs Through It” and talk about how peaceful fly fishing is.

I don’t know. Maybe we’ll check out the Watauga River. Just to see whether we could catch something.

But I’m taking my cardboard fish with me just in case.
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