The National Aquarium in Washington is going to close. But dont worry. If youre in D.C. and you still want to smell something fishy, stop by the White House. Theyve gone from Change you can believe in to Changing the story until you believe it.
A lot of critics are comparing President Obama to President Richard Nixon, which is unfair. Nixons unemployment rate was only 5 percent.
A lot of critics are now comparing President Obama to President Nixon. The good news for Obama? At least hes no longer being compared to President Carter.
This whole IRS thing has become a huge story. They apparently were targeting conservative groups like the tea party. You know its bad when President Obama says, Hey, why dont we talk about Benghazi?
Yesterday, the Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell, charged that theres a culture of intimidation throughout the Obama administration. Really, anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He cant even keep Joe Biden in line.
So they spent the last five years claiming President Obama was weak and ineffective. Suddenly hes Tony Soprano.
Have you folks been paying attention to whats going on in Washington? In a matter of six weeks we have three big scandals, and it looks like President Obama and all his buddies in the White House may go to prison. Finally, some good news for the Romney campaign.
People always say this to me: Hey, Letterman, they say. Why dont you make jokes about Obama? All right, Ill tell you why. I dont make jokes about him because I dont want the FBI tapping my phone, thats why.
Heres the problem. When you get scandals in Washington like the IRS, Benghazi, and the FBI it really gets in the way of not getting things done. If they dont fix these crises pretty soon, honest to God, it could bring gridlock to a screeching halt.
You can now get breakfast at Taco Bell. They have a breakfast waffle taco. You get your scrambled egg, and your sausage covered with maple syrup, all wrapped in a waffle taco. And it also comes with lap-band surgery.
The release of the new Star Trek movie is expected to make $100 million this weekend. Thats a lot, but imagine how much it would make if the people buying tickets were going with dates.
Justin Bieber received multiple honors at the Billboard Music Awards. He won for best male artist. I can count three lies in the title of that award.
O.J. Simpson took the witness stand. Hes serving up to 33 years on armed robbery, assault, and kidnapping charges. He wont be eligible for parole until 2017 and who knows if well even have Dancing With the Stars by then.
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