Memorial Memories | MomsCharlotte.com

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I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

Memorial Memories

By Carolina Sonshine on 05/30/13 14:46
Charlotte Observer

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Do you know what you were doing Memorial Day weekend five years ago? I know exactly where we were and what we were doing…

I close my eyes and I can smell the dust hanging in the air… I feel the heat beating through the thin tin roof and the sweat collecting along my visor… I hear John and Brian arguing about the best strategy for getting everything done and I’m hoping to complete at least half of the work at hand…

Little did I know this was the last road trip we would ever take together. A week later Brian found the Honda Civic he wanted and three days after that, we gave him the keys to his car, never realizing when we did that in seven short days, our world would implode.

When I allow myself to remember those days, I often wish we had been doing something far more exciting than making essential repairs to my grandparent’s lake house. The only person who truly wanted to be there that weekend was me; John and the kids had a million other things they’d much rather have been doing. Nevertheless, they agreed to spend two days working on the place as hard as they could…

It was so important to me to bring the lake house back from the brink of ruin, to preserve this part of our family heritage. I also wanted our children to learn that sometimes a short-term sacrifice is required in order to achieve a greater goal, a crucial life lesson which their generation has largely failed to comprehend…

Looking back supposedly lends itself to future clarity of action and purpose, as in ‘hindsight is 20/20’; I’ve also found that for me, it opens the trapdoor of regret, a personal hell where second guesses and should have’s keep me up at night.

I’m looking forward to the day when memories bring comfort instead of questions and renewed heartache…

It is that time again...incredibly, we have survived nearly five years since losing Brian. Please, don't use your phone while driving. If you need a 'Remember Brian 06-12-08' bracelet to help you remember to be smarter than your phone, just ask. They are free. We don't want anyone else to lose their life over the press of a button... rememberbrian@mindspring.com

Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…

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