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Be kind to the one friend you have for life

By Rosie Molinary

What if I told you that you get just one friend for the rest of your life?

One friend is all you will have to see you through the births and the deaths, the highs and the lows, the laughter and the tears. Just one friend will be beside you for all of it.

With just one friend, you can’t play around; you have to choose very carefully.

Do you have that person in mind? Is he or she smiling back at you in your mind’s eye? Good.

Now tell me what it is you like about this person in your life. What does he or she offer you? How does he or she treat you? Why did you choose this person?

Now, let’s tweak the situation a little bit.

Because here is the truth: you really do just get one person to walk beside you throughout life. There is one person who is all in for everything. One person with you when you get the phone call that changes your life. One person with you when you wake up in the still of the night to ponder life. One person cheering you on or holding you back.

That person is you.

Do you treat yourself as well as that friend you chose? Do you give yourself as much self-respect and patience and care as that friend gives you, as you give that friend?

Do you matter to you as much as much you matter to that friend?

The truth is that while you might have multitudes of people around you, you are, in essence, all you’ve got at any moment. And you deserve to be treated well by you.

When was the last time you said something mean to or about yourself? When was the last time you limited your chances? When was the last time you sold yourself short, held yourself back?

What could be worse than spending the rest of your life with a bully, troll, Negative Nelly, or a disrespectful or insensitive drag?

That might just be the bottom of the misery barrel.

You should have your own back. You should matter to you.

You should believe in you, respect you, care for you, treat yourself well.

Realize that you are all you’ve got in any given moment, in every given moment. Let the truth of that shift something in you.

We don’t have the kind of time to keep being mean to ourselves.

We don’t have impervious souls that make those barbs not matter.

We don’t have the luxury of doing the type of damage in minutes that will take years, decades, a lifetime to undo.

What we have are these beautiful spirits, longing to be themselves. But they cannot be free until they know that they will be safe in the world.

Make yourself that promise, and then make up for lost time. Become the type of friend you have always been to others to yourself.

Rosie Molinary is the author of “Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance.”
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The Charlotte Observer welcomes your comments on news of the day. The more voices engaged in conversation, the better for us all, but do keep it civil. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.

Have a news tip? You can send it to a local news editor; email local@charlotteobserver.com to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Charlotte Observer.

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