I don’t want to sound uppity, but a LOT of movies have been made in my neighborhood over the years. And TV pilots and even a few series that got picked up in spite of themselves. It’s a leafy neighborhood of 100-year-old houses that are mostly kept up. Wilmington likes to call itself Hollywood East because more than 300 movies have been made here. And many of those either filmed on my street or within a mile or so. Every now and then I wander outside to find tourists (usually from Germany) taking pictures of the neighbor’s house that was used for years in “One Tree Hill” and I always smile and scream “WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE TOGETHER?” at them because it’s not like I can speak German.
So when I learned that CBS was filming Stephen King’s “Under the Dome” in my neighborhood, I was hopeful that they’d use my house. Alas, they used Every Single One of My Neighbors’ Houses instead. I am trying not to take this personally.
On a sunny Saturday as I started to mow the grass, a production assistant ran over with panic on his face and asked if I could wait a couple of hours.
I am very supportive of the film industry because it’s clean (Well, except for every time Danny McBride opens his mouth in “Eastbound & Down,” also filmed here) so no, I didn’t mow.
But then I realized that I was the only one not getting paid. It happened in the hardware store when I overheard two neighbors talking about their good fortune. To hear them tell it, they were sitting in their lawn chairs lighting cigars with $100 bills. Did I imagine that one said to the other: “And then Steve says to me, I didn’t write it like that, but you know, I like your version better! Hahahahahaha!”
Envy began to burn like, well, something that burns a lot – and I got very snippy every time the “Dome” people stuck another annoying flyer in the door announcing my street would be closed and could I pretty please move my car.
“I’m not moving it,” I finally told the affable locations dude of the week. “Nope. Not moving it. Deal with it. I’m sick of my neighbors getting all the money and me getting all the hassle.”
He looked very sad. But then he is around actors a lot, so he may have been faking it.
“I understand,” he said. And then he lowered his voice to a whisper.
“You see, the problem is that your house is just outside the dome.”
“You do realize this is all made up, right?” I asked.
Just one week later, a Hallmark movie seriously scouted my house, coming back three times and taking lots of pictures. I began thinking about taking up cigar-smoking.
Sadly, they passed because they couldn’t fit a Ferris wheel into my backyard. Dumb yard.
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