55 things to do before school starts | MomsCharlotte.com

Tracy Lee Curtis is a humorist, writer and speaker. She writes family humor for the Charlotte Observer. Her column appears each Sunday.
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55 things to do before school starts

08/16/13 14:23

Somebody sent me a list of 55 Things To Do Before School Starts. Seriously? I can’t think of 55 things to do before I die, much less before next week. But here are a few of their suggestions:

Ease back those bedtimes. I totally disagree, because all kids do is scream and complain that it’s not fair because it’s still summer, and they won’t be tired. Let ’em stay up as late as they want, and when they’re drooped over their cereal the first day of school, you cheerfully sip your coffee and say, “told ya so.”

Do a dry run before the first day of school to see how long everything takes. For us it’s not how long everything takes, as much as it’s how fast can we do it. Our first dry run is 20 minutes. But we get it down to 11 when we figure if they brush their teeth outside, they can watch for the bus while they rinse with the hose – then make a run for it.

Use a giant desk calendar to fill in all the kids’ activities and school events. We actually use Luxor’s 4-foot Wide Double-Sided Whiteboard Easel, it’s easy to flip and it’s on wheels, making it easy to roll from the kitchen to the den, or to block anyone from leaving the room during planning meetings.

Get haircuts. The only thing that makes kids madder than going to bed early a week before school starts and getting blocked into a room by a giant whiteboard easel, is cutting their hair. Wait for a teacher workday. Or Christmas.

If you haven’t already, force the kids to finish up summer reading. Or quickly start some.

Get the older kids to practice penmanship with the younger ones. BWAHAHAHAH – I just dropped my dry-erase marker!

Prep kids for sports tryouts and talk about what happens if they don’t make the team. I got this one: “Son, if you don’t make the team – then you won’t be on the team.” Check.

Have a friendly, family discussion about homework. Problem with this one is that there’re three words in that sentence that have nothing to do with homework and they are “friendly,” “family,” and “discussion.” But whatever.

Post a list of useful phone numbers for the coming year. Already got it. The babysitter and Pizza Hut.

Institute a “most organized backpack” contest to be judged the first day of school. BWAHAHAHA – somebody’s SNIFFING the dry-erase marker!

Go on that outing you’ve had on your list all summer but have yet to accomplish. Oh, alright, I’ll go to the grocery store . . .

Walk around the neighborhood with the whole family. I can’t really do this one, because this is actually how I punish everybody.

Set your DVR to record the new fall season of TV shows. Now THIS is a good tip. I almost forgot – “Nashville” starts Sept. 25.

Better get that on the board.

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