From the Links to Life-Part 1 | MomsCharlotte.com

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I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

From the Links to Life-Part 1

By Carolina Sonshine on 08/30/13 22:05
Charlotte Observer

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Those of us who’ve lost a child dread the inevitable day when our child will be forgotten…

 

 

 

We’re blessed to have Brian remembered in so many different ways…  Nevertheless, it’s difficult when the annual junior golf award at Pine Lake is presented in his memory.  Especially for John.

 

 

 

It wrenches open the compartment in his mind he endeavors to keep tightly latched…  Being around young golfers (most of whom are male) triggers memories of the way things used to be and reminds him of what he’s forever lost...  Add that to the fact John cannot stand the thought of anyone feeling sorry for him, and you have the recipe for several sleep-deprived nights…

 

 

 

Never mind how hard it is to believe this was the fifth presentation…

 

 

 

At the beginning of the banquet, the assistant pro asked if either John or I wanted to say a few words.  I politely declined for us both; while I speak about B all the time, I wasn’t prepared to do so in this setting.  She kindly accepted my answer and mentioned a discussion held amongst the professional staff about continuing this tradition, given that nearly all of the kids currently involved in the program never had the opportunity to meet Brian… 

 

 

 

My initial reaction was to suggest either John or I talk with the juniors about B at the beginning of next season to explain how golf positively impacted his life.

 

 

 

After reconsidering the conversation though, I’m not exactly sure if my response was appropriate or if I truly understood what she was saying…

 

 

 

Each year when the pro shop advises John of the banquet date and extends an invitation to attend, the pain he usually hides so well is suddenly visible for all to see…

 

 

 

Is it selfish of me to want it to continue?

 

 

 

Or is it selfish of him to want it to stop?

 

 

 

Maybe the time has come for it to end. 

 

 

 

Or maybe we need to get involved so the next group of youngsters will know about Brian and all of the things he learned over seven years while chasing little white balls between tees and greens…

 

 

 

 

 

Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…

 

 

 

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