Saving just one... |


I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

Saving just one...

By Carolina Sonshine on 09/26/13 22:28
Charlotte Observer

Image Media



Even the brightest, sunniest day loses its luster when reading the critical commentary of an anonymous teen.




“I learned that it is an idiotic idea to drive a car with a cellular device in the car.  It didn’t change my opinion (about cell phones and driving) because I don’t have any personal care for Brian because I didn’t know him.  Even though I don’t care how your son died or why, I am sorry for your pain in your loss.  I know you have probably heard this before, but his death is not your fault whatsoever.  Please don’t beat yourself up over it.”




I tell myself it doesn’t matter to me…but it does.




I tell myself to focus on the many, rather than the one…but it’s hard.




I tell myself the goal is to get through to just one student…but it’s not.




Regardless of how many classes I visit or how many students I see, every single one of them is important to me.




I want each child to understand how precious they are, and how some things are simply not worth the risk.




I want them to shoulder the heartache we drag around daily for a few minutes… 




I want them to see my face and hear my voice and know that this is my life, my worst nightmare, that this really happened to Brian and my family and his friends… It’s not some professional re-enactment or obscure story from across the globe...




I want them to understand how it has changed-and continues to change-everything about our life…




I want them to imagine having to live with the fact that someone they love died because of a stupid cell phone…




Thankfully, this student’s response wasn’t the harshest I’ve ever received.  After sleeping on it for a night and mulling it over, it appears my intended message got through to him (or her), though obviously it had no influence on their opinion of cell phone usage in cars-whatever that opinion may actually be, because it wasn’t stated.




I don’t beat myself up because of what happened to Brian; I did the best I could and I cannot change the past.  But it is partly my fault…he didn’t think making a phone call was a big deal while driving because I never did…




Now that I’m aware of the dangers posed by cellular distraction, I have to do all that I can to keep this tragic outcome from happening again. 




Even when the feedback hurts.  Even if I fail to persuade a single person.  At least I know I tried.




As Emily Dickinson said, “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain…”




Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…


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