Worst executive committee mom EVER!
Inspired by Jen Harmaker's Worst End-Of-School-Year Mom Ever blog
This year for Halloween I am going to dress up as a Successful Executive with my iPhone perfectly synced and my files organized and my calendar streamlined. Ill have a button that says CEO on my crisp lapel. I will be the height of proficiency and everything I touch with my Cross pen will turn into completed tasks. Things will get done, people! Successfully! With me in charge!
Oh, wait. I tried that costume last year but it didnt really fly. Everybody could tell it was me.
Only I wasnt attempting to emulate the incredible cadre of women currently leaning in, bringing home the bacon in the business world. I was just trying to hold my own as a volunteer at my kids school. All I had to do was head up the Halloween Parade. And I even had a co-pilot to help me do it.
In my defense, the Halloween Parade at our school is really a festival-type event, a decades-long custom that the kids always enjoy. It pulls in parents and grandparents and siblings who gather to celebrate the school and to cheer on all the students who promenade around the campus in their costumes. There is a blow-up castle and a marching band and coffee and treats. But it is, in the end, just a parade.
I know that I am a hard worker and I am not afraid of heavy lifting. In a former life I was a great student and I made some decent contributions out in the world. But for some reason, I just cant seem to wrap my mind and my skill set around some of the bigger PTA opportunities. I am eternally grateful to the parents who take that ball and run with it, but I am much more suited to being a helper bee than a large-and-in-charge queen in the school hive.
And I realized I was in trouble right away with this deal when I attended my first parade planning meeting. This is because the meeting was in May the year prior. My second clue came when I was given my notebook regarding my responsibilities. Lastly, I met my co-chair, and our fates were sealed. A brilliantly creative artistic type, she would masterfully lead us in the aesthetic aspects of our endeavor. I would gleefully help. For the rest of the executive function requirements, I really tried. But my knack for taking simple things and making them complicated did not do us any favors.
The night before the big day I sat at my dining room table stuffing donuts into little bags with the tag Eat it . . . I DARE you! across the front. The Homeland crew was on my street, filming at a neighbors house two doors up. I wondered who was dealing with the more intense scene. I looked at my supply bins and my volunteer lists and my coffee orders and my plant ops communications and the weather app on my phone (was that a hurricane?!) and felt a knot in my stomach. Would I be the mom who messed up a beloved tradition? A vision of tiny Princess Leias with tears streaming down their faces and furious miniature Avengers haunted me. But this was ridiculous. How had I turned this opportunity to support my kids school into the starring role of Psycho?
Because you know whats really scary? Trying to teach when you dont have the things you need. Or trying to learn when you dont know where you are going to sleep that night. Or trying to be an advocate for your kids at their school at the same time you are working a second job to pay the bills. Or looking for a job not knowing how in the world you will ever pay the bills.
So I got over myself and Halloween came and went, and predictably some things went wrong and a lot of things went right and it was all good. Also predictably, I forgot to take pictures of the set-up or to note how many cups with lids we used or to record at what point the coffee cambros had to be switched up, all information that would have been helpful to the next Halloween Parade co-chairs. Like I said, I did not pull off my guise last year, even with my official notebook in tow.
Perhaps this year I should dress up as the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz or Lucy Ricardo or Phoebe from Friends. Or maybe Ill forget the costume altogether and just enjoy a cup of coffee at the Halloween Parade.
Read Kercher's other 'worst' adventures in parenting:
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