Planning for the Eagles is for the birds |

Tracy Lee Curtis is a humorist, writer and speaker. She writes family humor for the Charlotte Observer. Her column appears each Sunday.
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Planning for the Eagles is for the birds

11/24/13 14:41

In The City last week, we had the Eagles. My parents and sisters love this band, and I always said One Of These Nights we’re all gonna go see them, so there was no Wasted Time in getting us tickets.

The day of the show, I just have to print the tickets, pick up food, and get my sisters from the airport. But it takes a Certain Kind Of Fool to think it’ll be that easy.

My printer prints four of five tickets before running out of ink, about the same time my heating system starts sounding like a rifle’s blowing a Hole In The World. I have to Do Something, so I run to the cartridge store while calling the heat guys.

Then I pick up barbeque, but when I get back to my car, the battery’s dead. Gonna be a Heartache Tonight at The Sad Café when we don’t have tickets or heat and we can’t go anywhere. I get a jump and I’m on my way.

Would’ve been okay in The Long Run, if I’d left the car on, but I turn it off and it dies again in my driveway. The Last Resort is to roll it down the drive, and flag down another jump – which is pretty easy when you’re blocking the road.

I head to a gas station, and while making a left into the lot, the car coming towards me speeds up to try to pass me before I turn. He hollers as I turn in front of him. I think he’s Already Gone, but he’s pulled in and is coming towards me.

Take It Easy, Desperado, I have had it today. He tells me it would have been nice if I’d yielded the right of way, and I suggest that Life In The Fast Lane isn’t appropriate for small neighborhood side streets.

He needs to Get Over It because I Dont Want To Hear Anymore, and then I notice his UNC sweatshirt. And I Can’t Tell You Why, but I just start cheering “Go Duke! Go Duke Blue Devils!”

It’s his turn to Take It To The Limit, but I’m sure he figures Life’s Been Good, and this Witchy Woman just ain’t worth it.

He retreats, and After The Thrill Is Gone, I’m worried about How Long I’ll be stuck here. But they replace the battery in a New York Minute, and by 2 p.m. I have the tickets, heat, and a new car battery.

At the airport, I get a Peaceful, Easy Feeling when I see the Pretty Maids All In A Row. And in the end it was a fantastic show, and a really special weekend with my family. My apologies to the Tarheel that got the worst of my day. Glad my family got the Best Of My Love.

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